Hot Stuff
by Tanaqui
Summary: Someone who graduated from Hogwarts is currently working at a strip club and hating it. This someone bumps into the last person she ever wants to see, much less see her working at a strip club. Just read the story...It explains it much better there...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** _Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day._

* * *

**_- - - -Hot Stuff- - - -_**

* * *

"Hey Hot Stuff! How about you set that tray down and sit with me and my buddies huh?" 

"Hey sexy, why don't you come home with me tonight?"

"Yeah, work it baby, you know you got it!"

"Hey how's about a drink...on me...or ON you?"

'Pigs. All of them.' The waitress thought angrily, as she plastered a smile on her face, and continued to swish her hips.

The whistles and taunts followed her until she had reached the relative safety of the kitchen.

"GOD! Are all men always such jerks?" she asked Toby the Kitchen Boy.

Toby laughed as he placed another martini glass carefully in the sink, "when you work at a "Gentlemen's Club" they are..."

She scoffed, "Don't try to make it sound better. It's a strip club. I can't believe I'm working at a strip club."

"Well, look at the bright side..." Toby said, stacking the martini glass on the drying rack, "at least you're not _stripping_ at a strip club." and he left to get more dirty glasses from the ever growing stack.

The waitress forced a laugh. 'How did this happen to me? ME? I was top in my class! I graduated from one of the finest schools! What is wrong with me that I can't get a job! I can't even get a fast food job!! I'm here...'

"Don't think about it too much." Tony said, returning and observing her scrunched up face, "it's just temporary right? You said so yourself."

"Yeah, I said that...2 years ago."

"Hey, cheer up, I'm sure it's not that bad. I mean, guys hooting at you must boost your self esteem a little right?" he asked her jokingly as he handed her a fresh tray from the bar.

"Yeah...right... what tables do these go to?"

Toby looked at her blank faced.

"God Toby, do I have to do EVERYTHING??" she teased, and with that she braced herself to leave the sanctuary of the kitchen.

* * *

"Hey Bobby! What tables to these go to?" she yelled at the bartender from over the counter, motioning at the tray full of beers and shots. 

The reply was muffled.

"WHAT??" she screamed, trying to be heard above the pulsing music and catcalls.

"TABLE 6!"

"ALL OF THEM?"

"Yeah"

"WHAT??"

"YES!"

"Got it!"

She began to wind her way through the tables of jeering men, towards the stage. When she finally reached table six, seven men were anxiously awaiting the arrival of their drinks.

"Here ya' go boys, enjoy" she said coyly, trying to disguise the disgust and resentment on her face. The five men descended upon the drinks, giggling and laughing without so much as even looking at the waitress that came to serve them. Finally one of them looked up.

"Hey pretty lady, why don't you come sit with us? Or on us…or something…You know, what you gals are supposed to do."

She bat her eyes flirtatiously and politely declined.

The man ran his hand through his hair, "Look, my friends here found it appalling that I've never been to a strip club before, therefore, I am here. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm sorry if I've offen-"

"AWW Come ON! Give him a lap dance! Let's go baby!"

The waitress placed a small smile on her face, and slowly made her way over to the man who interrupted. She gently sat down on his lap as she swung her legs around to straddle him. She laced her fingers through his hair and leaned down so her lips were inches away from the offender's. She heard the rest of the party cheering him on.

She leaned in closer to his lips and whispered, "Get a life you moron." And with that, she shoved her handful of hair back, knocking his head backwards. She got off of him, and turned to the new kid, "Maybe you should consider new friends." And with that, she walked off, followed by cheers from the very drunk party at table 6.

The waitress barged angrily through the kitchen doors, "I swear Toby, I hate this job. I hate it I hate it I hate it! Hatehatehatehate THIS JOB!" She plopped angrily down on the stool by his feet.

"You should let the other girls handle it for a while. They actually like going out there an-"

"I hate the music, I hate the smell, I hate the outfits, I hate the place, and most of all, I HATE having to go out there and SERVE those, those self centered, annoying, disgusting, irresponsible BAS-"

"ORDER UP!"

The waitress swore under her breath, "We'll talk when I come back."

* * *

"And where is this going Bobby?" 

"Table 1…Hey, keep your temper down next time."

"Hey, they deserved it!"

"You and your hot temper. Stop thinking and talking and do what you're hired for."

The waitress flicked him off and picked up the tray of drinks. Once again she made her way around the tables until she came to table one.

"Here ya' go boys!" she said, setting the tray down and serving out the drinks. The men at table one were the exact opposite of table six. They did not pay attention to the drinks whatsoever. Instead they focused all of their attention on her.

"Come on baby, hike that skirt up a little shorter!"

"Woo! Hot Stuff!"

"Yeah! How about bending over girl?"

Someone slapped her butt. 'I cannot BELIEVE I have to put up with this…"

Suddenly the stage lights came on, and the announcer came onstage.

The waitress turned her attention back to the table and problem at hand, "Alrighty boys, let me serve the drinks and then we can talk…favors."

The comment was greeted with whistles and hoots. The announcer was announcing the next few acts, the same old, same old. But apparently the boys loved it, and kept coming back. The waitress momentarily looked up to see the first act coming on stage. She was a young girl and didn't quite know what she was doing, even though she had been working for a few months now.

She turned her attention back to the table, "Who ordered the tequila? And the…Heineken?…How about the Miller Lite? Last but not least, who ordered the…round of shots?" Once she had all the drinks handed out, she glanced up once again at the stage.

The young girl was still on. The waitress could tell that she was trying so hard to be sexy and attractive. 'I guess you gotta keep a job…'

She wound her way back through the tables, and once again slammed into the kitchen.

"Is Flower up yet? She's my favorite." Toby asked, peeking through the small round window on the door.

"Speaking of pigs…" she muttered to him.

"Hey, she's a classy girl…"

"HA! CLASSY? Toby, she STRIPS for a LIVING…She makes a living out of degrading herself!"

"Yes, but she does it with class!"

The waitress couldn't help but roll her eyes at him, 'I guess all men are alike.'

"Come on, let me help you with some of these dishes."

"No, it's ok, I mean, I got it. You really don't need to help me."

"No, come on! It'll go faster with two people."

"You'll get your uniform dirty. Or wet. Or something."

"Toby. It's a bikini top that looks like a sailors uniform with a skirt that doesn't even cover my –"

"ORDER UP"

They exchanged looks, "I swear I'll help you out when I get back."

* * *

"WHERE ARE THE OTHER GIRLS???" She screamed at Bobby. 

"I don't know, probably doing their jobs, and giving the customers lap dances!" he shouted back at her meaningfully.

"Can it. Where is this going to?"

"These three are table six, and these two are table seventeen."

"Got it."

She sighed and once again meandered through the tables. Table seventeen was closest, so she headed for that one first. It was occupied by two rather suspicious looking men, both in suits, huddled in the corner booth.

"Hey there boys, I got your drinks right here."

"Yeah right here, thanks doll." One of the men said, as he handed her a twenty.

"Would you like change?" she asked, baffled as to why he handed her a twenty.

"Tip. Fast service, Good looking." He said, and he turned back to his partner and immersed him once again in conversation.

She shook her head, but pocketed the money. Then she made her way over to table six again.

"Hey baby, back again? Couldn't get enough of me huh?"

The first timer tried to catch her gaze, the expression on his face clearly was trying to tell her that he was sorry about his friends.

"Nope, just doing my job, sir." And she set the tray down on the table, "Dig in." and she walked away, vaguely hearing the announcer on the stage.

"Flower is coming on next!" she screamed in through the doors of the kitchen, and she made her way around to the back of the bar.

* * *

"Okay, I'm going on break." She said, to Bobby, beginning to take off her sailor hat. 

"Hey, do me one last favor, and take this drink to the stage bar."

The waitress looked at the bartender incredulously, "Are you for real?"

"Just do it, and then I swear you can go on break."

She groaned and took the drink from him, "where is this going again?"

"The stage bar."

'Of course it HAS to be the stage bar…' she thought to herself. She hated the stage bar. The most disgusting perverts sat up there all the time. The ones with pockets full of ones, and lots of money for change.

She wound her way past the two men on table seventeen, and the seven guys on table six, past the rowdy boys at table one, and finally made it to the stage bar.

Flower was onstage. She was pretty in her own odd way. But then again, all the women here were gorgeous. They weren't the most popular strip club for nothing.

She searched for the man that ordered the drink, and realized that she didn't get a description from Bobby. 'I'm gonna kill him'.

"Who ordered the glass of wine? Who ordered the glass of – woah!" her foot caught on someone's pulled out chair, spilling the contents of the glass all over a patron sitting at the bar.

"That was my wine you just spilled all over me."

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry sir. I'll get another one right away."

Then she whirled on the offending chair and it's occupant. He stood to face her and apologize.

"…Lily?"

* * *

A/N: I hope you like this one! It's going to be a bit crazy until all the details get added in, but hopefully it'll be good! Review please!!! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** _Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day._

A/N: I wanted to thank the people that have reviewed so far! "vintageviolet", "Aslein", "Tinkluvsyou", "soccergurl1993", "xHeavilyxBrokenx", "TancredTorssonLover", "Brazilian Princess", "October Tuscany", "IluvvHP", "sncaggie", and "firelily28"!! I never expected to get that many reviews on my first chapter! Here it is, I hope it lives up to your expectations…although, I'm already apologizing just in case…

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

"What do you think you're doing pulling you're chair out in front of me? Can't you see me at all? Are you even LISTENING??"

It was obvious the man was not. He was staring slack jawed at her. The waitress turned to face the stage, and rubbed her temple. She sighed angrily to herself, 'why do I always get the idiots??' she spun back around to him

"Yo, buddy. I'm gonna need you to sit down. As much as I'd love it if you blocked the stage, the other patrons are not going to like it so much, and my boss would kill me, so if you could please just…sit?"

"Lily…don't you remember me? I mean, don't you remember, us?" the man stepped away from the table and motioned to the two other guys sitting next to him. One of them had a distinctly wolfish look about him, and the other was simply adorable, almost puppy-like.

"Sir, I don't know who you are, and I don't know who this 'Lily' person is. You must have me confused with someone else. My name is Trixie. I'm sorry. Now, I'm going to need you to sit down. The show will be starting again momentarily, and I can't have you blocking the view."

"Aww Come ON Lils! I mean, I know this is probably the worst case scenario for you, us guys seeing you working here, but sit down, have a drink. My treat."

She looked at the two men sitting around the table smiling at her. 'Well, they don't look bad …' she thought to herself.

"Ok, you know what? You sit down, and I'll sit with you for a few minutes ok? I am not Lily…whoever that is, but if it'll make you feel better, I'll sit down with you."

The man with the long black hair spoke up, "James man, I don't think this girl is Lily…"

"Of Course she's LILY!" James cried out, gesturing at her.

"No…I agree with Sirius mate, she doesn't quite look like Lily. She almost looks like…that…umm…"

"Well, I'm sure working at a strip club changed her a lot!" James countered.

The waitress sat silently at the table listening to the guys argue around her. She glanced towards the ceiling in a silent question, 'WHY ME???'

James's question startled her out of her heavenward glance, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"You don't remember me? James, James Potter? And Sirius Black and Remus Lupin? And you…you're, you're Lily Evans… Aren't you?"

"Once again, I have no clue who this Lily is you're talking about. But if I find her, I'll be sure to tell her that a James Potter is looking for her. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go on break." And with that, she stood up and walked briskly towards the kitchen, all sassy walking and swinging hips gone. She had to have a serious discussion with Lily Evans.

* * *

"You are so SO lucky I covered for you."

"I know. I know."

"You don't even KNOW how hard it was to act like I didn't know who you were!"

"I know."

"Lily…" She said, coming to sit next to her, "Could you see them? I mean, did you know it was him?"

Lily muttered something under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Yes." She mumbled a bit clearer.

"And he doesn't know that you strip for a living?"

Another mumbled reply.

"WHAT?"

"NO!" she countered.

They sat together in silence. Then, "Lily, put something else on. I can see right through that robe." Tracy tossed her a thicker robe. One that wasn't see through.

"Well, at least it's classy stripping…"

The waitress looked at her skeptically, "There is no such thing as classy stripping. GOD Lily! Look at you!!" then she laughed, "Look at us…"

Lily joined her in a depressed laugh, "What happened huh?"

"We were best friends at Hogwarts…and then…James…I mean, we were gonna go far…and now look…"

"What I want to know is why you decided to talk to me again…Trace? Tracy?"

Tracy looked at Lily with a sad smile, "Well, you got me a job." And with that, she began to walk out of the room. When she got to the door of the dressing room she paused, "By the way, he didn't even remember me… I was just…Trixie." And she left.

Lily watched her ex best friend leave, and wondered how they were going to work things out. Things were going so well with them. And then HE showed up. He came back into their lives. Lily swore aloud. 'How did I end up here?' she thought sadly to herself. She looked around her dressing room.

It was a nice dressing room, as dressing rooms go. She was (after all) the star of the show, in one of the hottest strip clubs in the world. When she was on the stage she was just, "Flower". She looked around sadly at her costumes. They were classy costumes. Lots of beautiful dresses, gloves and jewelry. None of the tassels and zippers that a lot of the other girls used in their acts.

"I am a classy stripper" she said to no one in particular. 'After all' she thought to herself, 'I never get completely naked…well…not that the audience can see. I suppose I'm more of a topless act…Kind of like…in 'Gypsy'…but more naked.' She sighed to herself, 'I guess there's really no way to justify stripping if you don't like to do it.'

Once again she sighed and shed her robe. It was time to weigh herself. Her contract stipulated that she stay the same weight give or take 5 pounds. 120 was the heaviest she could get.

'114…Good day…' she thought to herself. Then she stepped in front of the mirror. Her hands traced the form of her waist. Some would call it hourglass. Lily never did because it was uneven looking. One side was more curvaceous than the other side. She hated it. 'But then, I suppose no one notices when I'm up on that stage…' She began to change into her regular street clothes.

'And stripping pays pretty good money…I mean, it's not amazing, but I can get by. And Tracy makes less money than I do, including tips. It's going to be so awkward tonight…'

She finished dressing and collected her things. As she stepped out of her dressing room and turned to lock the door, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Frightened, she spun quickly around only to come face to face with James Potter.

"Frick. You scared me."

"Lily? I can't believe you work here! I mean, I would have thought you of all people would go on to become something amazing. You were amazing at Hogwarts! I mean, you were a pain in the butt, but you were so intelligent and smart! You were going to do something with your life… What happened?"

The more he spoke, the more Lily realized that she couldn't face him.

"Why do you keep calling me Lily?" she lied angrily.

"Because you ARE LILY!"

"I am NOT! I am Trixie!" she said, trying to pitch her voice a bit lower and make it a bit more scratchy to match that of the waitresses.

"I'm so confused. I mean, you look so much like Lily."

"Look Pal. I don't know who this Lily is. Now why don't you turn around and go home. How did you get back here anyway?"

"Door." He answered simply.

"Look. Just, Go. I don't want to talk to you alright? I'm obviously not Lily."

James looked her up and down, "But you look so much like her! I mean, unless she looks nothing like she did at Hogwarts!"

"What is Hogwarts?" Lily shot back at him.

James looked at her as if she let down his whole world, "You really aren't Lily?"

"For the last time. No. Now Go. Please."

James turned his back on her and walked back out to the bar.

* * *

"I saw that you dirty little liar." Tracy said, stepping out from behind the kitchen door.

"I'm sorry Trace…I just…Couldn't face him."

"Oh. YOU couldn't face him. I get it." She shook her head angrily, "I'll see you at home Lily." And with that, she turned on her heel and went back into the kitchen to work out the remainder of her shift.

Lily walked out of the club and screamed in frustration and confusion.

* * *

_A/N: Ok, completely aware that this chapter probably wasn't what you were expecting… Reviews make me feel all warm a fuzzly (yes fuzzly) inside…so REVIEW!!! PLEASE!!! _


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: Thanks to the fans! Without whom this ficcy would probably not be continuing it's third chapter! "vintageviolet", "Aslein", "Tinkluvsyou", "soccergurl1993", "xHeavilyxBrokenx", "TancredTorssonLover", "Brazilian Princess", "October Tuscany", "IluvvHP", "sncaggie", "firelily28", "SweetSouthernGal", "bookworm3213", "FSL", "xx-IRULE-xx", "pheobesapphira", and my two anonymous reviewers, "Ja" and "Kat"!!! Now, onto the third chappy, in which hopefully some things will be explained.

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

Lily Evans got back to the apartment, buried her head in the nearest pillow, and screamed. All she wanted to do was to make a cup of hot cocoa, light the gas fire, curl up on the sofa and read her book. Unfortunately, she was exhausted, so all of the above was very unlikely.

Tracy's cat jumped onto the couch next to her. She sneezed. 'I suppose I should start taking my allergy medicine again…' she trailed off dejectedly. She sat in silence, staring at the ceramic logs in the fireplace, and mulling the events of the night over in her mind, trying to figure out how to talk to Tracy, what to tell her. Her thoughts drifted back to Hogwarts.

'_You have to swear you won't tell anyone. I like him so much, and now he may finally be starting to like me back Lily! I'm so excited!'  
_

'_I guess I like her… Please don't tell her. I plan to, when the time is right.'  
_

'_We're going out! I mean, we're dating! I can't believe it, out of all the girls in the school, he picked ME!'  
_

'_I know this is wrong…we shouldn't be doing this…but when I'm with her, all I can see is you. I've had to stop myself from whispering your name when we're kissing…I don't know what else to say…'  
_

'_I love him Lily, but I don't think he loves me back…I…I think there might be someone else…I think he's cheating on me…'  
_

'_We have to tell her Lily…We can't keep doing this, meeting in secret. She'll forgive you eventually, you're best friends.'  
_

'_I can't believe you did that to me Lily! You KNEW and you did it anyway! I thought you were my best friend. You were kissing him!! I- I trusted you. And you…Betrayed me! I Loved Him.'  
_

'_Don't do this Lily. I never meant to screw up your relationship with her! Please don't do this. Don't push me away. It wasn't supposed to be like this…'  
_

'…_I just want to know why…Why him? You knew how I felt about him…You didn't even give us a chance Lily. You didn't even Try.'  
_

'_Lily, in case I don't see you again after this…this final train ride…I just want to say I Lov-'  
_

The slam of a door made Lily jump out of her daydream. Tracy put down her bags and keys on the key rack, made her way over to the couch, picked up Mr. Snuffles, turned on the fire, and sat down next to Lily.

"What a day huh…?" she asked quietly, staring into the flames.

"Yeah…"

Silence. Then, "Lily…?"

"Hmm…?"

"Why didn't he remember me? We dated for almost a year…I just, I can't understand why…why he didn't remember ME…" Tracy trailed off pathetically.

"I don't know Trace." Lily said, rubbing her right temple, trying to ease the throbbing headache.

"Yes you do. You were the only one that knew both sides of the story…Or, three sides of the story." Tracy commented, not meaning to hurt Lily, but doing so anyway.

She turned and faced her friend, "I'm sorry about what I did, okay Tracy? But that was a long time ago. I got over it. I thought you had too… But apparently you haven't. I'm sorry I made him cheat on you. Alright? I'm sorry. For the five HUNDREDTH time, I'm sorry. But it wasn't my fault. I didn't mean for-"

Tracy scoffed and stared into the fire, "Wasn't your fault?" she directed her piercing gaze at Lily, "You kissed back… Remember?"

Lily averted her gaze back to the fire. She did remember, and she tried to keep her thoughts from straying back to that day.

Tracy looked back down at the fire, and began to pet Mr. Snuffles.

'_Tracy! I thought you were going to be at the library!'  
_

'_Tracy, I'm so sorry, I-'  
_

'_Lily, I'll handle it. Trace, it's not what it looks like. I mean, we both had a little bit of firewhiskey I'd been saving from our last Hogsmeade trip, and well, we're both a bit tipsy, and things le-'_

'_Tracy, I'm so sorry…'_

'_Lily, don't apologize, I should have told her a long time ago.'_

'_I never meant for this to happen Tracy…I swear.'_

'_Tracy, I should have told you that the only reason I dated you was…'_

'_James, please don't…Please…'_

'_Lily, I have to. The only reason I dated you was because you looked like Lily, and I never thought I could get Lily, so I settled for you.'_

Tracy snapped out of her daydream and glanced down at Mr. Snuffles. She laughed, trying to brighten her mood a bit, "You're getting rather old Mr. Snuffles...we may have to replace you soon." To that offending remark, Mr. Snuffles looked up and her and hissed. Then he stood and jumped off of her lap and made his way into the bedroom to sleep on something that was more cushioned and moved around less.

Lily was still silent.

'_How could you have DONE that to her James?'_

'_How could __**I**__ have done that to her? What about you?'_

'_What ABOUT me?'_

'_You've been blaming ME for ruining her life, when YOU were the one who never even tried to stop me.'_

'_I-'_

'_When I kissed you that first time, you didn't pull away. In fact, I remember you kissing back. When things started to get more serious, you never told me to stop. You never even Tried, Lily. So next time you look around for someone to blame, look in the mirror.'_

'_I hate you.'_

'_Yeah? Well I hate you too.'_

Lily sniffled a bit at the thought. How much it hurt when he said that. No love at all in his eyes. Nothing of the flame that she saw when they were in bed together.

'_You know what I like the most about this?'_

'_Hmm…?'_

'_I'm the only one that gets to see you naked.'_

'_Yes you are.'_

'_I like it!'_

'_You're such a loser. Now kiss me…loser.'_

'Is that really why I became a stripper? To spite him…? Even after he told me…that he lov-'

"I think I'm going to join Mr. Snuffles." Tracy said, standing and heading towards her bedroom.

"Tracy, wait." Lily said, and Tracy stopped and turned towards her.

"What?"

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I didn't mean for everything…all that…to happen…and it did. If I could go back in time and change one thing, it would have been what I did to you. And if I could have prevented James from being at the club tonight, I would have. But I can't. All I can do is move on. Maybe you should to…"

Tracy looked Lily straight in the eye, "Lily, I accept your apology, but you can't go back in time, you can't change anything that happened, and I don't think I'll ever fully forgive you…As much as I want to, I don't know if it's possible. I've tried to move on, but every man I meet, I think he's going to do the same thing that James did to me. Maybe one day I'll meet someone I trust completely, but until then…" and she left, breaking her intense stare.

Lily slouched on the couch and pouted, 'No one could say I didn't try.'

Tracy came back in the room and observed her friend in silence, "Lily?"

Lily looked up from the fireplace, "What?"

"How far…?"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, genuinely confused.

"How far did you go with him…?"

"With who?" Lily asked, trying to avoid the answer.

"With James. How far did you go with James Potter?" Tracy asked, getting slightly frustrated and worried.

Lily looked away from Tracy. She couldn't bear how her friend was looking at her so accusingly. She stared back at the fireplace.

Silence.

Awkward Silence.

"…right. Never mind. I know." Tracy said, and left again.

"Tracy…?" Lily called.

"What?" was the muffled response from the bedroom.

Lily got up and sat on the foot of the bed, petting Mr. Snuffles, "Can I keep being Trixie…? With you…? At least until we both can face him…"

"We both? I'm not facing him. Not ever. You can face him again…"

Silence.

"Yes. You can be Trixie if he asks…"

Lily got up and hugged her friend, "Thank you Trace…I knew you'd understand." And with that, she left.

"Yeah…I always understand…" she whispered sadly to herself.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long! I ran out of creative juices…If you have any questions feel free to ask!! I shall try to respond to them! I also hoped that cleared up some stuff…. REVIEW PLEASE!!! LOVE!!! . 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with this little idea of a story!! "vintageviolet", "Aslein", "Tinkluvsyou", "soccergurl1993", "xHeavilyxBrokenx", "TancredTorssonLover", "Brazilian Princess", "October Tuscany", "IluvvHP", "sncaggie", "firelily28", "SweetSouthernGal", "bookworm3213", "FSL", "xx-IRULE-xx", "pheobesapphira", and my four anonymous reviewers, "Ja", "Kat", "loli" and "jenna bo benna"!!! Sorry if I left anyone out!!! I love you all though!!!

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

Lily awoke to the sound of Tracy's alarm clock carrying across the den and into her room. She groaned inwardly, "Turn it OFF!" she yelled as she rolled over to look at the time. 11:00am. 'Why???' she asked herself as she rolled back over in bed, and covered her head with the covers.

"Come on. Time to get up." Tracy groaned, stumbling into Lily's room and turning on the lights.

Lily responded by promptly burying herself deeper under the covers.

"Wake UP!" Tracy said, pulling the covers off of her. Lily's toes scrunched up as the cold air reached her body.

"I hate you." She mumbled.

"I hate you too. Come On."

"You don't have to go for another two or three hours, and I don't have to wake UP for another four or five...!" Lily grumbled, trying to feel for the covers.

"We have that bachelor party today. Remember? He reserved the whole place. And Bobby wants us in early."

Lily muttered a series of swear words under her breath, "how long do a group of men need to oogle at a naked woman? It's not like my boobs are any different from any other girls boobs..." she grumbled angrily to herself. Tracy rolled her eyes, and left to make breakfast.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower!" Lily called.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Tracy yelled back.

"Whatever you're having!" and with that, Lily shut the door to the bathroom.

Lily was examining herself in the mirror when the smell of bacon and eggs wafted under the door. She stepped lightly onto the scale in the bathroom. '113... lost weight from last night...' she sighed and turned back to the mirror. "You know what Trace? It's a sick profession we've gotten ourselves into..."

Tracy took that moment to walk into the bathroom to weigh herself.

"I mean really, look at us! We spend every morning weighing ourselves naked just to make SURE that we can keep our jobs, because we've convinced ourselves that clothing weighs at least 2 pounds..." She spritzed her hair with water, "then we spend the next 5 minutes staring at ourselves in the mirror, poking and prodding our waists with our fingers, hoping that no one notices that little bit of tub that's beginning to show itself... Then we eat breakfast, only to do the same weighing, examining routine all over again..." She began to brush her hair, "When we're finally satisfied that we look acceptable, we spend the next 30 minutes doing our hair, and the next 30 minutes after that, doing our makeup and getting dressed, only to go to work, to put on MORE makeup, and take off the clothing that we spent forever picking out that morning..." she said, as she started to blow dry her hair, "Only to go home after that, sleep, and start the same routine all over again! It's ridiculous!"

Tracy had tossed her robe back on, "breakfast." and she was out of the bathroom again.

Lily sighed, threw on a robe, and followed her to the kitchen.

It wasn't much of a kitchen, actually, it wasn't really a kitchen. It was a bit of the main room, partitioned off by half of a wall with a hot plate, refrigerator, sink, and microwave. There was counter space, but very little. They used the half wall as a sort of a bar. Lily pulled up a stool and sat at the wall.

"Bacon and eggs, my favorite." She said a bit sarcastically. They always had bacon and eggs, mainly because it was one of the fastest things to make for breakfast. And Tracy refused to buy that "instant oatmeal" junk.

Tracy pulled up a stool and sat next to Lily, "you know, we should really stop eating so much bacon and eggs…Doesn't it like…cause fat? All that oil on the bacon…?"

Lily nodded, but stabbed her piece of bacon anyway, and shoved it in her mouth, "Wew, iths goo"

"What?"

She swallowed the mouthful, "Well, it's good" she clarified.

Tracy rolled her eyes, finished her meal, and went back to the bathroom to continue getting ready for the day.

"You know Trace?" Lily called from the wall, "I think we should quit our jobs. I mean, it's not a very good job, and it doesn't pay you much money. On top of which it's really quite demeaning."

"You finally figured that out huh?" Tracy called back.

"Yeah, I mean-" she said, coming into the bathroom, "-think about it. We basically sell ourselves…in a way. I mean, not physically, like TO them, but we do sell our bodies for their amusement."

"Yeah." Tracy said, and swept out of the bathroom to get dressed.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Lily called towards the bedroom.

"Sure."

"I don't quite mind being a stripper…sometimes it's fun. I mean, to know that you have that sort of power over a man. And not just one man, but every man."

"You're sick Lily." Was the blunt reply.

"No really, think about it. I am what most guys fantasize about! Me, My body, Little Lily, the always 'Cute' one…I was never the good looking one. That was you Trace. I was always 'cute' or 'adorable' or something to that effect. But now, I mean, I'm hot! It's kinda like we switched places except you're still good looking."

"Just not as good looking as you huh?" Tracy said with a sad smile.

"That's not what I meant!" Lily went to her bedroom to change.

"That's exactly what you meant. You're saying that you're the good looking one that everyone wants to see naked, you're the one that everyone wants to sleep with. It was ME at school, but now it's you, and you like that. That you're finally the center of attention, that you can get any man you want. You like that feeling of having power over men and, thus, power over me. But let me tell you something Lily Evans. Regardless of how 'hot' or 'sexy' or 'fiiine' you get, I will always have something you don't. And that is self respect. The difference between me and you is that I won't bend to the wishes of a club owner who wants me to strip. I won't let men treat me as an object, and I certainly wouldn't use my looks to get them to fantasize about me. Especially if I don't even KNOW them, and I DEFINITELY wouldn't use my 'looks' to sleep with my best friends boyfriend." And with that, she walked out of the apartment.

"That's not what I meant…" Lily said sadly again. She finished dressing, and she too left the apartment.

* * *

"Go figure my main act shows up late." Bobby said mournfully to himself, mumbling about the current absence of Lily Evans to Tracy.

"I'm sure she'll be here soon" Tracy assured him, as she pulled up her miniskirt.

"I'm going to kill her when she gets here! You know she's always late, why didn't you wait for her?"

"There was absolutely no need to wait for her." She looked at herself in the full length mirror in her dressing room, "Very tasteful." She remarked , her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It's not so bad. Anyway, that's the theme." Toby said, appearing in her doorway.

"Do you men mind giving me ANY form of privacy?" she remarked. The two men quickly vacated the room.

Tracy had a chance to observe herself in the mirror. She was wearing a crimson corset, with a matching thong. Clips from the corset extended to mid-thigh, where she had them clipped to fishnet stockings. She turned around to look at her butt. With a vain effort, she attempted to stretch the string that was the thong to cover her butt, to no avail. She sighed angrily, "I refuse to wear this."

She was in the process of removing the fishnets and thong, when Toby once again made an appearance. She calmly threw on a robe, "Don't you people ever KNOCK?"

Toby was making an effort to shield his eyes, "Sorry, I just was sent in here to tell you that Flower was here now, and in my defense you were dressed when I first came in here. How was I to know you would be undressed when I returned?"

"Just get out Toby." Tracy said, shoving him playfully through the door.

She shut and locked it after him. Looking through her wardrobe, she managed to drum up something a bit more modest: a black satin mini skirt, with a very large slit up one thigh. But when she tried to put her regular underwear back on, it showed. She swore under her breath as she put the wedgie back on.

* * *

"Look Lily, it's not that bad."

"You couldn't have told me this LAST NIGHT??"

"You wouldn't have come in this morning. Anyway, it's still really not that bad!"

"Oh really? I show up, all ready to do my regular routine, when I'm told all of a sudden that I'm supposed to strip completely? No! I refuse to do it. I will do my regular topless act. That is all." She said, pulling on a blood red ball gown that hugged her curves.

"Look, I'm not asking you to get completely naked. Just…take off the dress!" Telling women how far to strip down to was not Bobby's good point. He hated doing it, but if it got the customers, he was prepared to go to any length. He justified it by saying that it was all just business.

"To a THONG, Bobby. That's just as bad." She said, as she turned her back on him to face the mirror and comb her hair.

Bobby decided to try a different tactic, "Look. You'll be up there, all those men will be looking at you. Just you, slowly stripping for them. They'll eat you up. You're the number one act kiddo. They come for you. No one else, just you."

Lily looked at her reflection in the mirror. It was certainly tempting, all those men there just for her. She knew she was the star, and she also knew that Bobby was just playing to her ego, "Fine. But I get a raise."

"Done. Anything you want."

"And more dresses. These are getting old."

"Yes. Yes. Anything. Just do it." Bobby stood to go.

"One more thing Bobby."

He stopped in the doorway and turned to face Lily, "Yes?"

"Tracy gets an act, and a raise."

* * *

A/N: WAY SORRY this took SOOOOO long in coming!!!! Went to Hawaii just recently and then have been so busy at work! But hopefully more chapters will be coming out just as soon as I get a few spare moments! Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are awesome! 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with this little idea of a story!! "vintageviolet", "Aslein", "Tinkluvsyou", "soccergurl1993", "xHeavilyxBrokenx", "TancredTorssonLover", "Brazilian Princess", "October Tuscany", "IluvvHP", "sncaggie", "firelily28", "SweetSouthernGal", "bookworm3213", "FSL", "xx-IRULE-xx", "pheobesapphira", "Forneverandnever", "heartsnpokidots", "TentenXIrista", "sweets555", "serenity12345", Super Cara" and my four anonymous reviewers, "Ja", "Kat", "loli" and "jenna bo benna"

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

Bobby stood outside of Tracy's dressing room trying not to hyperventilate. He couldn't help but wonder why he hired both of these strong personalities, who obviously at this moment, were very mad at each other. He tried to work out how to tell Tracy the news. Deciding that force and bossiness was the best option, he slammed the door of Tracy's dressing room open, not even noticing the lock.

"WHAT IS THE DEAL??" Tracy asked, angrily trying to wipe the lipstick smudge from her cheek, "You screwed up my make up!"

"Make up is the least of your worries right now. You're our first act."

"WHAT?" Tracy exploded, "how could you DO this??? You promised- it was in my CONTRACT!"

"Yeah, well, it's not permanent at the moment…"

"What do you mean, 'At the moment'?? You better give me answers Robert."

Bobby cringed. No one called him by his real name anymore, "Ok, listen to me Tracy. This wasn't my doing. I know it-"

"Then whose doing WAS it? You're the OWNER of this-this- thing, and you're going to tell who ever it was that you simply can't do that. And you know what? Don't TELL me that you know it's not fair, or that you know it will be all right in the end. I don't want to HEAR any of that bullsh-"

"Alright that's it. I have had it with you. I let your temper get the best of me all the time, but this time, no deal. You are going up on that stage. You are going to look like you're having the best time of your life. You are going to remain under my employment. You are going to take the raise that goes with this new position, and you are going to like it. So help me, you are going to at least pretend to like it. Because that's what professionals do. They keep their cool no matter what happens." He said coolly.

Tracy opened her mouth to object.

"No. I don't want to hear anymore of it. You're the first act. Better get pretty creative pretty fast."

Tracy sat in silence for a minute, "I get a raise?"

"Yes."

"And it's just for this one time?"

"We'll see."

"We'll see always means no."

"I said, we'll see. Not yes. Not no. We'll see."

"And if I refuse?"

"I'll fire you, and make sure you won't be able to get another job within a fifty mile radius of this joint, and where you live."

"You can't do that!"

"Try me."

Bobby looked her straight in the eye. Tracy faltered, and looked down at the floor.

"Fine."

Bobby stood, triumphant at last. He had won, for the first time, he was one up against Tracy.

"Just tell me one thing."

"What?" and he turned to leave.

"Who was it? I swear I won't beat them up."

"Lily. See you onstage in an hour." And he slammed the door shut.

The door, now broken, swung back open slowly. Tracy glanced at it, and in frustration, kicked it shut again. It swung back open and hit her. She screamed angrily and moved her closet in front of it. 

"Why would Lily DO this to me?" she whispered, collapsing in her chair with her head in her hands.

She sat in the relative sanctuary of her barricaded dressing room as she contemplated her choices.

Suddenly it dawned on her why Lily suggested she get her own act.

"If she can do it, I can do it." And with that, Tracy sat up, and began to think of what she could do.

* * *

Lily sat stilly in front of her mirror, not believing she had just done that. Having Tracy on stage was an easy way of letting him know the truth. Lily never was one for doing things the right way. If it seemed too complicated, or created too much embarrassment on her part, she didn't want to do it, and would find another way. This was her other way. She kept trying to tell herself that that was the only reason why she did that, and that Tracy would understand. But deep down, she knew that was a lie.

Yes, it was partially because of that, but mostly it was because she wanted to get back at Tracy for what she said to her at the apartment.

"Self respect." She sneered, and with that, she continued to put on her make up.

* * *

_I will always have something you don't. And that is self respect…I won't bend to the wishes of a club owner who wants me to strip…I certainly wouldn't use my looks to get them to fantasize about me. Especially if I don't even KNOW them…_

Her own words came ringing back with clarity to haunt her.

_I won't bend to the wishes of a club owner who wants me to strip… self respect…_

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She tried to convince herself that Lily was only doing it because she thought that it was the easy way out. Which it was in a way. She shook her head once more, and stood. It was time to practice.

There was the sound of wood knocking against wood, "Where are you Trace? The other waitresses are all ready." Toby said, muffled from behind the wardrobe, "and what the heck is this thing?" He pushed against the door, moving the wardrobe just enough for him to squeeze himself into the room.

When Tracy saw him, all she wanted to do was hug him. It was times like these, she thought, that she seriously needed a boyfriend, but for now, Toby would be there for her…

She wrapped her arms around him and began to cry.

Toby was taken aback at the moment. His first instinct was that he had to go beat someone up for hurting Tracy. But as he looked at her sobbing into his apron, he knew that that wasn't the reason she was upset. He wrapped his arms around her, and let her cry it out.

"What's wrong?" he asked when she was done crying.

"Bobby-Lily-well-"

"What?" he asked gently.

"They gave me my own act."

"That's great Trace! That means a raise right? I mean, you'll be able to get that futon you wanted a lot sooner now right?"

"No! Toby! I have to strip! Do you know what that means?"

"I'm a cook Trace, not an idiot. Of course I know what that means."

"Then why are you so happy for me?"

"Look. My fiancé always used to say, when life chucks lemons at you, piss life off and go make some lemonade."

"I don't get it."

"Make the best of your situation Trace! This is one of life's little lemons. You have to make the best of the situation. Show them that this isn't bothering you as much as they thought it was going to."

"What do you mean…?"

"Tracy…YOU be the best stripper. YOU be the one everyone wants to see. Make Lily regret her decision. Then, use Bobby to get what you want…perhaps another raise? Or you know, perhaps you could get your friend who slaves away in the kitchen a raise?"

Tracy laughed.

"But you see what I mean? Make them mad…or at least make them see that they can't phase you."

She nodded with a small smile, "But I won't enjoy it."

"I never said you had to enjoy it…it's sour lemonade, because after all, what are the odds that life chucks you lemons AND sugar?"

Tracy laughed again.

"Come on." He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her dressing room.

"Where are we going?"

"To get some advice from the 'cast and crew'" and he led her outside to the alley.

* * *

Lily was nervous. Every passing minute made it seem like her choice of promoting Tracy was a bad idea. Tracy was doing swimmingly. Lily could hear the cheers and catcalls from behind the curtain. She swiftly walked to the wings, in the hopes that she could see what was happening that was creating so much noise from the audience.

Tracy was on the stage, bantering with the crowd of rowdy men. Lily had expected to see that she was entirely naked with all the din they were making, but she hadn't even taken anything off yet.

She was clad in a white corset, with white elbow length gloves, tiny white boy briefs, white stockings, held up by white clips, and sparkling white stilettos. Her red hair was done up in a bun, held up with a crystal studded hair clip, and she wore a small chain necklace and diamond stud earrings.

Lily couldn't see what the big deal was about, after all, she hadn't even taken anything off.

But Tracy kept up her stage talk, and quite suddenly, began to slowly tug on the pinky finger of one glove.

The men went crazy.

Lily still couldn't figure out what the heck Tracy was doing that was getting that much attention.

Another loud cheer made Lily snap out of her staring match with the floor.

Tracy was slowly beginning to tug on the ring finger of the glove.

Lily was in a cold sweat now. Why did they want her so much and not me? She wondered.

Tracy finished slowly taking off her glove, and gently tossed it out into the crowd of waiting men.

And with that, she walked off the stage.

She had no intention whatsoever to tell Lily that James was in the first row, nor did she have any intention of telling Lily she was going to announce her. She flounced back onstage in front of Lily, forcing Lily to stay hidden in the wings temporarily.

She grabbed the mic, and smiled. This created more cat calls and hoots.

"Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to someone who is very special to me. There is one person in this audience especially who I know will be pleased to see her…"

"What is she doing?" Lily whispered frantically to herself, this wasn't part of her usual introduction.

"Please put your hands together, and have your dollar bills at ready,"

That's more like it…Lily thought, feeling slightly better.

"and help me welcome to the stage, the one, the only, LILY EVANS"

Lily stood, frozen to the spot.

Tracy strut offstage, and stood in front of Lily with a smile, "You're up Lils!" and with that, she pushed her gently onto the stage, hoping that that was what Lily wanted her to do.

Unfortunately, it was not what Lily wanted, nor expected to happen. She had simply thought that Tracy would get used to the job, James would come back, and see there were two of them, and finally realize. She had not expected Tracy to announce her name like that, and shove her onto the stage.

She was even further upset when she saw James in the front row, wide eyed with disbelief and betrayal.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to strip in front of all these men, when she used to just do it for James. She didn't want him to feel cheated. She still wanted him to feel special, like she was doing it just for him, like she used to.

A tear flowed down her cheek, and she was about to run offstage, when she caught Bobby's eye.

She swallowed her feelings, pasted on a smile, and as she looked into James's eyes, she felt the guilt of cheating with him all over again.

She began to do her routine, playing to him, willing him to know she was doing it for him, and only for him, as tears welled up inside her eyes.

She thought this would be the easy way out.

"She was wrong…" Tracy said with a sad smile.

* * *

A/N: This ensures (for all you anxious people) that there will be Lily James confrontation next chapter… HURRAY! Reviews LoVED! 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with this little idea of a story!! "vintageviolet", "Aslein", "Tinkluvsyou", "soccergurl1993", "xHeavilyxBrokenx", "TancredTorssonLover", "Brazilian Princess", "October Tuscany", "IluvvHP", "sncaggie", "firelily28", "SweetSouthernGal", "bookworm3213", "FSL", "xx-IRULE-xx", "pheobesapphira", "Forneverandnever", "heartsnpokidots", "TentenXIrista", "sweets555", "serenity12345", Super Cara", "Jacks", "Zeuphyra", "theIRONIST89", "mrsbrandonflowers", "megose" and my four anonymous reviewers, "Ja", "Kat", "loli" and "jenna bo benna"…THANKS MUCHO!!!

A/N2: I have been trying to respond with a thanks to all of my reviewers and answer any questions they might have had about the chapter (cuz I know it's confusing at times…) so if you don't want me to respond to your review (which I can assure you, I will), please write something to that effect, like…"no resonse" or put a little () at the bottom or something…Thanks a Bunch! LOVE!

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

James Potter was in a panic. He didn't know what to think.

Lily Evans, the girl he fell in love with at Hogwarts, the smart, talented, adorable, innocent Lily Evans was standing before him.

Stripping.

He knew she was looking straight at him. But James could not make eye contact. He felt resentment and almost anger towards her. A sort of 'How dare she do this to me' feeling.

He knew he really had no right to feel that way, after all, he had said he hated her, and she had to make a living somehow but…

'_She's still as gorgeous as I remember…'_ He thought to himself, once again looking up on the stage.

He felt above the roaring crowd, a higher status. After all, he was watching a woman, a friend he had once loved, and seen naked before. They were watching a woman, a stranger, they had never seen in their lives. Yes, he was different than them.

* * *

Lily Evans had never felt so much pain in her life. It was worse than the feeling of guilt she felt when Tracy found out about her and James. It was a deep feeling of self loathing, anger, and oddly enough, love.

She found she was hating her job, hating the fact that daily men saw her naked…when only James used to have that privilege. She hated the fact that she had taken the job to get back at James. She hated Tracy for announcing her with her real name. She hated James for being there, watching her, jealously growing on his face.

She hated herself for the mess she was currently in. She should have just faced him when she had the chance.

At the same time, she loved James being there. He was there for her…and only her.

'_I wonder if I'll ever be Lily again to him…Lily…Just Lily…'_ she wondered, as she began to remove the last bit of clothing in her routine.

She looked at James, and another pang of, well of whatever it was, swept through her. She wanted so badly to run offstage, to get away from all those hungry eyes.

So she did.

She picked up her gown, ran into the wings, and slammed into Tracy. She found she hated Tracy for the concern in her eyes. She hated Tracy for doing what she had meant for her to do…

'_What is wrong with me?'_

She shoved angrily past Tracy and ran to her dressing room, her dress clasped to her chest. No one else would see her naked tonight.

She was hurt, the way James had looked at her…

'Disgust, Anger, Jealously, and…Love? No. Not love. There was no love in those eyes. Maybe betrayal…He just thinks I'm a piece of meat now…not something-someone special…He's probably wondering what he ever saw in me…'

"Lily, we have to talk about what just happened onstage." Bobby began, blocking the hallway with his arms and body.

She ignored him, and barreled through him. Finally, she reached the relative sanctuary of her dressing room. She locked the door, and moved her sofa against it. No one was getting in.

Then she cried. She didn't know how long she was sitting there on the couch against the door crying. All manner of thoughts were running through her head. The first of which was that she had to pull herself together and talk to Tracy. She sobbed a few more times into the pillow she was hugging, stood, and crossed to the mirror.

She wiped all of her make up off of her face. There would be no more performances tonight. She also changed back into street clothes. Just so Bobby would fully comprehend that she was not staying tonight.

She shoved the sofa out of the way. There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Lily? It's me…"

_I can't deal with this right now…_ "Go Away." She said, making sure the door was locked.

"Come on, Lily, let me in. I know it's you now."

"I don't care. Go Away."

"Lily, please?"

She sighed and opened the door, "What do you want?" she asked icily.

"I want to talk about what happened out there…"

"I did my job, that's what happened. Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."

She turned to go towards Tracy's dressing room. James caught her arm, and an intense tingly feeling shot up Lily's arm. She wondered whether he felt it too. If he had, he showed no notice of it.

"Lily."

"What?"

"Can we talk somewhere…more…private?"

"No."

"Please?" James said, there was a hint of a beg in his voice. Lily caved in.

"In here." She motioned into her dressing room. Once they were both in, she once again locked the door. She didn't want Bobby barging in when they were talking.

"What Potter?"

"Potter? Now I'm Potter? What happened to James?"

"James went out of the window when you made me sleep with you and ruined my friendship with Tracy."

"When I made you sleep with me? Let me tell you Evans, you had every right to refuse." He said angrily stepping towards her.

"You shouldn't have propositioned in the first place." She retorted, mimicking him and stepping forward.

"Oh really? So it was my fault that you kissed me?"

"No it was YOUR fault that you cornered me."

"I cornered you huh?"

"Yes. Like you're doing right now." She said, angrily backing into a corner, James advancing upon her.

"Right…That was me, huh?" he replied, taking another step towards her.

"Get away from me Potter." Lily said defiantly.

"That was me all of those times that you called me away from doing homework to fool around. That was me all of those times we would go to the room or requirement. That was me all those long years ago taking advantage of you." He said icily, his face inches from hers.

"I hate you." Lily said, leaning forward and shoving him backwards.

"You don't mean that."

"I do mean that Potter. You screwed up my life because of what we did…Tracy never forgave me, will never forgive me." She sat down on the couch dejectedly.

James rubbed the spot on his chest where she shoved him and sat down next to her warily.

Silence.

"I loved you Lily…" he said, clearly hurt.

"And I loved you…Or at least, I thought I did…but maybe it was just lust. Maybe I lusted for you. I wanted you…but maybe for all the wrong reasons."

"You don't mean that?" he asked again, this time genuinely hurt.

"I don't know. I don't know what I mean, what I want, or what I feel anymore. I want to slap you, and kiss you at the same time…I…"

"So do it."

"Do what?"

"Slap me then kiss me."

"I'm not that stupid Potter. If I kiss you, all these feelings will come tumbling back…"

Again, silence.

"You were beautiful."

Lily snorted.

"No really. You haven't changed a bit…"

She looked at him skeptically.

"Lily, I don't know how to say this…I've been looking for you everywhere. The last place I expected to find you was a strip club. And I'm incredibly jealous of every other guy in this place. They all get to see you…when it used to just be me…" His eyes traced up her curves, and landed at her eyes, "I want it to be how it was."

"What? Mad bunny sex?"

"It wasn't mad bunny sex."

"Who are you kidding Potter? Really? You're going to try and say that that wasn't what it was?"

"Well maybe for you it was. But for me, it was something. There was something there. Feeling. I loved you Lily…you obviously were lying when you said you reciprocated that feeling."

"I wasn't lying. I was just confused."

"How do you know that?" James said softly, "How do you know what you felt wasn't real? What if it was? What if you really did love me back?"

"James…I don't know what it was…but that's in the past. This is the here and now. I can't just go gallivanting off with you. I have a job, and a friend that needs me right now. She needs me, and she certainly doesn't need you. I'm not going to have you screw up this friendship again."

"So that's all I was…? A screw up?"

"That's not what I said."

"It's what you meant."

"I can't have this conversation with you right now."

"Why not? Why can't we get this cleared up right now so I can either continue returning, or never come back again."

"Because I'm not in the right mind to be arguing with you."

Silence.

James leaned over and put his head in his hands. Lily glanced over at him sadly, lovingly.

She was so confused about her feelings for him right now. Part of her wanted to shove him out of the door. The other part, the larger part, wanted to kiss him, and wanted to kiss him so badly it set her teeth on edge. She turned away from him.

"Lily?"

"Hmm?" She asked, turning back around to face him.

"I might kiss you…"

Before she had time to respond, James was kissing her. She missed his lips. They were warm, and soft, and well, perfect. She smiled, and began to kiss him back. All problems fell away, it was just her and James again. Together. _Maybe he can come home with me tonight…_Reality came crashing back down on her. She pulled away suddenly.

"What?" James asked, bewildered.

"I can't. James…Maybe later. Not now…Please. Please leave now." She asked, unable to make eye contact with him.

James sighed with frustration, "Just tell me Lily, what is so wrong about us? Hogwarts is over. There is no more Tracy for you to worry about. What is the matter?"

Lily looked down at the floor, "There is a Tracy for me to worry about…now if you'll please…go."

James stared at her in disbelief for a second. Then he stood, "I'll be back tomorrow… Maybe you'll be in a better state of mind to talk. Goodnight Lily."

"Goodnight." She replied, and with that, he left.

Lily's mind was in complete turmoil. What just happened there? Did she kiss him back? Oh God…

"So…what did he say?"

"Did you lead him back here Tracy?"

"No. Trixie led him back here."

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what? Isn't that what you wanted me to do? Introduce you as Lily so he would know?"

"No. He wasn't supposed to ever definitively know it was me…Tracy! I can't believe you did that!"

"Well what else was I supposed to do? Honestly Lily. You blatantly threw an act in my face. Left me to flounder, and expected me to not do anything? Get real Lily. I was just trying to show you that sometimes what you think is the easiest way out, isn't really."

"Tracy. He kissed me…" Lily said, turning away from her, not wanting to see her reaction.

"Did you kiss him back?"

Lily didn't answer. She didn't want to answer. She hoped Tracy would understand, after all, Tracy didn't like him now. Not after all these years, and everything that happened.

She heard a door close.

"Tracy?" she turned around. Tracy had left the room.

Lily was once again alone with her thoughts.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was tough for me to write out…I dunno why…neewayz…Reviews are loved! 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with this little idea of a story!! "vintageviolet", "Aslein", "Tinkluvsyou", "soccergurl1993", "xHeavilyxBrokenx", "TancredTorssonLover", "Brazilian Princess", "October Tuscany", "IluvvHP", "sncaggie", "firelily28", "SweetSouthernGal", "bookworm3213", "FSL", "xx-IRULE-xx", "pheobesapphira", "Forneverandnever", "heartsnpokidots", "TentenXIrista", "sweets555", "serenity12345", Super Cara", "Jacks", "Zeuphyra", "theIRONIST89", "mrsbrandonflowers", "megose", "sofo4ka", "LadyKnightSusan", "Tamzi"and my four anonymous reviewers, "Ja", "Kat", "loli" and "jenna bo benna"…THANKS MUCHO!!!

A/N2: Gaack! I'm so sorry I haven't been posting! I just started school again, so the creative juices haven't really been flowing…plus I now have homework again…so I'm sorry if the chapters start coming fewer and more far in between. I'll try to still post as often as possible! LOVE!

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

Tracy ran home without even looking where she was going. When she got to the apartment, she opened the door, slammed it behind her, shot the deadbolt home, and put the chain on the door. She didn't know what happened to her. All she knew, was that at this moment, she could not be around Lily.

Lily. Just thinking the name made her mad with jealousy. How could she, after all these years of swearing she hated James, how could she kiss him?

Tracy turned the fire on, picked up Mr. Snuffles, and sat down on the couch.

Mr. Snuffles looked up at her accusingly, and meowed.

"Oh Shut up. I am not jealous."

Mr. Snuffles meowed again.

"I am not! I don't think. Anyway, it happened millions of years ago, and I am over it…I could care less if he kissed her, or she kissed him, or whatever stupid thing happened."

Mr. Snuffles kept staring at her.

"Stop looking at me like that! God I can't believe I'm talking to a cat…"

Mr. Snuffles took this opportunity to meow loudly again, and gently claw her leg.

"Ouch!" She said.

Mr. Snuffles hissed, jumped off of her lap, and circled his food dish meaningfully.

"Oh you're hungry!"

She got off the couch and poured some cat food into his dish. He began to eat hungrily.

"Silly cat…"

She sat back down on the couch and hugged a pillow to her chest.

_What am I thinking…_

She began some serious inner conflict.

_I don't know if I still have feelings for James…I must because otherwise why would I have felt that way when I found out Lily kissed him. It has to be jealousy. But why would I be jealous? Yeah, he's really cute…hot actually…and he hasn't gotten any worse, in fact, I'd say he's better looking…Maybe it's because Lily always gets everything. She's always the best. She's the star of the show…all the time. She always gets what she wants. Lily Evans…Miss…Perfect. Okay so I don't hate her…I'm just jealous I guess… She always get the best of everything. The best boys, the best clothes, the best pay…I guess she doesn't have the best job, but in a way she does…kinda…she has guys who worship her…she's the star of the show…and I'm…Trixie._

"The waitress…" she said aloud. Mr. Snuffles finished eating and hopped back into her lap.

_So what if I'm jealous? For once I thought I had something she didn't have…James…and she took him away from me…That's cause for anger isn't it? That's cause for jealousy…Have I really been that jealous of Lily? Lily has been only nice to me ever since…that thing…and I've hated her…the whole time. Lily Evans…Perfect Miss Lily Evans…I have to stop hating her. She's my friend now. I have to put James behind me, and forget about the whole Lily/James thing that happened at Hogwarts. It doesn't matter anymore. I am a mature adult, and I can handle James being around if Lily decides to get back with him…_

Her thoughts drifted back on the day. She couldn't help but reflect on how it felt when Toby put his arms around her. She felt loved again. She knew it was just Toby being a good friend, but part of her wanted it to be more than that. Part of her wanted it to be Toby she was getting upset and jealous about.

She shook those thoughts out of her head.

_It's Toby, Tracy. Get it together. He's like you're brother. You're very cute and irritating brother…who is friends with all the strippers…_

She laughed out loud.

There was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Tracy called out as she shoved Mr. Snuffles off of her lap and stood.

No response.

"Who is it?" She called out again as she made her way over to the door and looked through the peep hole.

"It's Lily…"

Tracy removed the chain, and unbolted the dead bolt, "It's unlocked."

She took a step back as the door swung timidly open.

"Sorry…"

"About what? I was just going to bed." Tracy lied.

"Seriously Tracy…I need to talk to you." Lily crossed to the kitchen and put her purse on the table.

"About what?"

Lily looked at her skeptically and crossed to the couch. She motioned for Tracy to sit.

Tracy obliged, "Okay, what?"

"I'm sorry about today…I just thought that…You were over him. I'm sorry if you're not…"

Tracy didn't reply, she simply continued to stare intently into the fire.

"I didn't mean to hurt you…again. I didn't mean to kiss him back either. I couldn't help myself though…It took me back Tracy. I mean, it was just us again, alone…"

"Hiding from me…right?"

Lily looked hurt.

"Look Lily. I really don't mind if you go around kissing you're lover boy all over again. I just can't hear about it right now. If you want to know the truth, yes, I was jealous. I am jealous right now, that he would still, after all these years want to kiss you and be with you. I'm insanely jealous. But as your friend I'm going to put that all behind me and wish you a happy relationship. I'm over these stupid juvenile feelings about you and him. Do whatever you want. You don't need to hide it from me anymore. I get it, you like him. Just don't rub it in my face."

"I don't want to be in a relationship with him Trace."

"Oh really. So did you kiss him back?"

Lily didn't reply again.

"See? You do want to be back in a relationship with him. Do me a favor Lily. Just be with him. It's obvious both of you want it, and you have my consent, not that you ever needed it, but I mean…He's not dating me, so you can have him all to yourself. Alright?"

"I don't want him all to myself."

"What you want to share him again? Sorry Lily, but I've already had that happen to me once, and it wasn't a pleasant experience…Plus, I'm not sure James want to re-sleep with two friends who still look almost exactly alike."

"No I mean, I don't want him at all."

"Right now…You will later. I know you Lily. You're going to reject him, then want him when he doesn't want you anymore, then he's going to like you back, then you're going to sleep with him, and bam, you two will be inseperable again. I should have known back then…you two were always 'studying' together…but now I know, and I'm okay with that Lily. Just do it already. Be with him."

"Tracy, are you not listening to me?"

"Are you not listening to ME? I'm GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO SLEEP WITH HIM. GO DO IT. Just go already. Tomorrow when you see him, just do it already. It's obvious both of you want it."

"Tracy, listen to me. I don't want him."

Tracy scoffed.

"Seriously."

"Okay, just tell me this. Why would you have kissed him back then? All he needs to do is kiss you and keep you kissing him, and then it'll escalate. You said it yourself. You couldn't help yourself. And you and he both know it. You can't help it Lily. If you still love him, even a tiny bit, deep down inside of you, just go for it. I don't care anymore. Honestly."

Lily looked at her incredulously, "Are you telling me to sleep with him?"

"DUH! I've been saying it for the last few minutes. If I have to be on that stage every show, seeing him scrutinizing me, wishing, again, that I was you, I can't deal with it. If you were with him, he would stop coming every night. If you keep ignoring him, all he's going to do is keep coming back, making it harder for you to resist. Just give in."

Lily sat silently staring into the fire.

"Goodnight Lily…"

"Mmm…" Lily said, not really attending to what Tracy said.

"Lily, I'm sorry I did that to you, but you have to realize that it'll be good for you. You haven't had a boyfriend since James, and I know it's because you feel guilty every time you get close to a guy. It's alright. I really do want you to finally be happy. At least talk to him like a civilized person tomorrow. Maybe invite him back for dinner…see how things go. If you still hate him, then I was wrong. If you end up liking him, then that's good too. But I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

Lily nodded again.

Tracy could tell Lily didn't believe that she was over James enough to let her date him.

"Anyway, I like Toby." She added for good measure.

_A complete lie, but it'll help Lily to realize…_

And with that, she went to her bedroom to sleep.

Lily sat on the couch for another 30 minutes, thinking about what Tracy said. Memories where flooding back into her mind, memories she had tried to block since Hogwarts. How it had felt to wake up next to James, his kiss, how her hand felt in his. She allowed herself a small smile. She decided that tomorrow, she would ask him back to the apartment for dinner.

_It won't hurt…maybe I'll ask Toby to join us, for Tracy…_

And with that triumphant thought, Lily went to her bedroom to turn in for the night.

* * *

A/N: Sooooooo??? Poor Lily is totally screwing with Tracy's mind and she doesn't even know she's doing it. LOL! Reviews welcome! . 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: OK I officially have too many people to name individually, so I'm just going to start thanking everyone! Thanks especially to those people who are returning readers…I know it's hard to keep up with my story with posts so few and far between! THANKS TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! Because without you guys, I probably wouldn't have kept updating this story…THANKS AGAIN!

A/N2: Currently the creative juices are flowing…so this chapter may be quite long…sorry to all those who hate long chapters! o.-

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

Lily awoke to Tracy hitting her with a pillow. 

"Wake up…" and with that, she left the apartment.

Lily grumbled about how it's not fair that she wasn't woken up at the right time, and that now she'd have to figure out what to do for a quick breakfast and she'd have to rush to work.

She looked at the clock. "Oh!" She said aloud. It was 11:00am. It was time to wake up…

_So then where did Tracy go?_

She stumbled out of her room, scratching her head and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. On the counter was a stack of pancakes and some scrambled eggs, accompanied by some orange juice and a bowl of fruit.

"Alright…what's going on here…?" she wondered aloud. As she slowly approached what she only assumed was a trap, she noticed a note sitting by the plate.

Lily,

Have gone to the market to get some food for your dinner with James tonight. Eat up! You have a big day ahead of you!

Lily grumbled under her breath. She had every intention of asking him to dinner last night, but now, in the glare of the morning with a stack of pancakes sitting temptingly in front of her, the ideas merits were starting to fade.

_After all, we barely know each other. All I have to base off of is him kissing me…I guess that's enough. Well I'll talk it over with Tracy when she gets back._

With that thought, she sat down at the table for a nice, good, warm breakfast. And the best part about it, was that it didn't include bacon.

As she was getting ready for the day, Tracy returned from the market and made a bee line to the kitchen to put everything away.

"Thanks for the breakfast it was amazing!"

"You're welcome! I got some steak…is that alright? I hope he's not a vegetarian…"

"No…I don't think he is…"

All of a sudden Lily was overcome with nervousness. It was a nervousness that sort of stayed in the pit of your stomach all day long and just sort of festered there. The type of nervous that makes you feel sick.

"I don't feel so good…." She said loudly from the bathroom.

"You're just nervous."

"Yes…but it's that sort of nauseous nervous…"

"You'll get over it when you get onstage. Come on…we have to go."

And with that, they left the apartment.

* * *

Tracy walked confidently into Bobby's office, "Bobby. I need to talk to you." 

"Yes?"

"I want to keep my new job."

"But I've already set about on getting you back to being a waitress."

"But I don't want to be a waitress anymore. I want to be on the stage."

"You want to strip."

"No. I want to perform. There is a difference. Stripping requires the removal of key articles of clothing. See?"

"So you just want to prance around onstage and have an act? With no stripping…? Tracy honey I don't think you understand that this place is a strip club. The girls that go up on stage are supposed to be strippers."

"I know…but if I can get the same of reaction…Even more, without stripping, I should be allowed to have an act."

Bobby looked at her critically, "Fine."

"And I get to keep my raise."

"Done. Now get going. We open in 2 hours."

Tracy smiled to herself and left for her dressing room.

* * *

Lily walked tentatively into the kitchen area. 

"Excuse me, is anyone here? Toby? Hulloa?"

There was a crashing of several pans, a loud swear word, and then silence.

"Hello?"

More crashing of pans, and finally Toby emerged from around the corner of the counter on his hands and knees.

"Yeah how can I help…" he realized it was Lily, "…you…?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to come to dinner at my and Tracy's place tonight?"

Toby was taken aback. The most beautiful woman he ever met in the world had just asked him to dinner. Heck yes he was going.

"Yeah! I mean, Yes. Sure. Umm, what time?"

"Well when do you get off work?"

"About…9…"

"Well then how about around 10 o'clock. It'll be a late night dinner…" and with that she left.

"Ten is fine…Ten is actually perfect…" He said to the closed door with a smile.

He began to jump all around the kitchen, banging on pots and pans, drumming on the stove, clinking forks and spoons against wine glasses and martini glasses. He was ecstatic. Flower just asked him to go to dinner with her. He couldn't wait to tell Tracy.

* * *

Unfortunately, Tracy was bunkered up in her dressing room with the door locked and her headphones on. 

She was listening for some good music for her routine tonight.

Truth be told she was thinking. Not only about her routine, but mainly about how the night was going to be. She was trying to convince herself that she didn't care about James and Lily, After all, she had thought about it last night, and it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. She really didn't want to hold what happened at Hogwarts against Lily her whole life.

_Besides. It's been so long, James doesn't even remember me, there is no way this is going to be awkward. I can't let her suspect that I may even have the smallest of feelings for him still…It'll ruin her night. Best just to leave it be. I'll just stay in my room while they have their romantic dinner for two. Besides, it's not like James is going to look at me and fall madly in love with me…_

She laughed

_Wouldn't it be funny though? James comes over for Lily, but takes one look at me and starts to fall for me, and I could either take him or leave him._

She laughed again to herself.

_Pretty ironic. Anyway, Lily isn't even going to be thinking about me. For one, she thinks I like Toby, and two, she's going to be so into James she's going to forget I exist…_

She turned up the music a little higher, completely oblivious to the urgent excited knocks that Toby was making on her door.

* * *

Turns out Toby didn't get a chance to speak to Tracy before he got off of work. He would have liked to warn her that he was going to be over on a date with Lily that night and to not freak out, but he couldn't get her to answer her door, and by the time the club opened, he was needed in the kitchen. By the time he got off of work, Tracy was currently on stage, and he had to leave to buy a bouquet of flowers for Lily.

* * *

James couldn't believe he was at this strip club for probably the third of fourth day in a row. That much strip clubbing was just too much. He didn't even know why he was there. Lily obviously wasn't interested in him. Not now, and probably not ever. He sat sipping his water and looking around at all the crazy men that were gawking at the beautiful girl onstage. Interesting enough though, she hadn't removed any clothes, but they were still totally into her. James stopped sipping his water and began to watch her closely. She had a quality that made her very attractive. She had a shyness, yet confidence and a bit of an attitude. She was slender and pale and she had the most beautiful eyes. James had a sudden thought that he wanted to be with this girl, this girl that when she smiled, made him feel like she was smiling only for him. And when she finally did remove a glove, it made him think that she didn't need to do that. She was a beautiful painting and removing the glove ruined the work of art. He settled back in his chair with a small smile.

* * *

Lily took a deep breath and ventured down into the audience. She was wearing a small mini skirt, coupled with a sequined bra. The men went crazy. But she only had eyes for one. James. She slowly wound her way through the crowd, picking up ones as she went. She threw her leg over James's lap, and straddled him. She leaned in close and whispered in his ear, "Dinner at 10 at my place tonight…I'll be waiting." And she got up and went back to the stage. She took another big breath to clear her nervousness, and began to do her routine.

* * *

Tracy finished her routine and left the club immediately. She wanted to get back and be asleep before Lily and James got there. She didn't want to be in the way, or have the temptation to eavesdrop. She got back to the apartment, showered, and changed into comfiest pajamas. She snuggled into her bed and began to read. She realized that Mr. Snuffles hadn't been fed yet, and got up once more to feed him. Then she realized that she too was starving, and she heat up some left overs, and brought it back to her room. With that final act, she settled back down in her bed and began, once again, to read her romance novel.

* * *

Lily walked into the apartment and went to the kitchen, She assumed Tracy was in her room getting ready since the light was on underneath the door. She opened the fridge and saw steak for two people. She swore under her breath, "Tracy! This isn't enough food for the four of us!" 

"Hmm?" was the reply, Tracy was attending to her book.

"How are all four of us going to split these two steaks? It's nothing!"

"What do you mean four?" She replied, still not really attending.

"ME, JAMES, YOU, AND TOBY!" Lily yelled, walking to Tracy's room and throwing the door open, "and why are you in your pajama's??"

"Wait…" Tracy shut her book with a slap, "what do you mean, you, me, James, and Toby?"

"I invited Toby to come have dinner with us…like a double date!"

Tracy mentally cursed herself.

"WHY?"

"Because you need someone to love you too Tracy! I'm sick of you just moping around the house all day because you can't get a guy. I invited Toby…you know…the one you like? To dinner tonight, and you had better like it. And you also had better get to know him."

"Lily…I already DO know him. This will just be awkward."

"Too late. Him and James are coming over at 10. I suggest you get ready. Something nice."

Tracy sighed a huge sigh, "Fine."

She rolled out of bed and tried to find a nice, semi clean outfit.

* * *

"Ding Dong" Tracy shouted from the bedroom towards the kitchen when she heard the doorbell ring 20 minutes later. 

Lily skipped to the door and let in James.

"Hi, you look beautiful." he said, slightly awkwardly.

She was indeed beautiful. She had on a forest green knee length dress, with a lighter green sheer material on top. It was strapless, and her collarbones where accented by a silver necklace with a diamond drop at the end. She was wearing red stilettos. Her hair was up in a slightly messy bun, with thin tendrils framing her face.

"Thanks, you're not so bad looking yourself. Have a seat on the couch… That's Mr. Snuffles." She said, pointing at Mr. Snuffles, who hissed at him, and ran into Tracy's room, "That's Tracy's room…"

James looked at her warily, "Tracy…who…?"

"Yeah…Tracy who…"

"Oh…yeah let's avoid that room…"

"Umm, here's the kitchen, and the dining room, and the den, and that's my room…and that's about it…"

"So…does she…know…?"

"Yes. She does. She actually suggested it."

"Oh…"

The doorbell rang again.

"I'll get it!" Lily shouted.

She opened the door, and there stood Toby with a bouquet of roses.

"Hello Lily. Thanks for inviting me."

"No problem!"

She ushered him in, where he was greeted by James.

"Hey, so you're here for Tracy?"

James looked at him, clearly confused.

"No, you're here for Tracy…" Lily said, just as confused.

"No, I'm here for – oh. I see." Toby arm that was holding the bouquet fell to his side.

"Oh, no I didn't mean it that way, it's just that Tracy told me she likes you and I decided to invite you to come eat with us. Like a double date, sort of, but not…"

"Oh. Well where is she then?" Toby said, holding up the flowers again.

"In there." James said, nodding warily at the door.

Just as he said it, Tracy walked out of the room. She was gorgeous.

She had on a dark blue shoulder less dress shirt, and high-waist dress pants. Her hair was combed into soft waves, and it framed her face perfectly. She had on a simple silver chain necklace with a locket at the end, and small diamond stud earrings. She was wearing blue heels.

Both men were taken aback for a moment. Toby because this wasn't the girl he was used to seeing. The Tracy he knew wore too much make-up and was always in some form of mini-skirt or daisy dukes. And her tops were always a lot more revealing. Her hair was also normally messily done up in a ponytail. He had never once seen her hair down. She was beautiful.

James was surprised because standing before him was the girl he was so taken in by at the strip club. She had the same twinkly blue eyes, and the same soft skin. When she smiled it lit up the whole room. This definitely was not the Tracy he remembered. The Tracy he remembered was always in jeans and a t-shirt. She always had her hair up in a messy sort of ponytail/knot thing, and she was always in tennis shoes.

"Hello everyone." She said with a smile.

Toby was the first to recover, "Uh, hello, these are for you." He said, awkwardly pressing the bouquet into her hands.

"Thanks." She said, tilting her head down to sniff the roses.

James carefully observed how her whole outfit was complimented by the roses, how they where just a darker shade of her hair, how well the crimson and the midnight blue that was her shirt went together, and how nicely all the colors went with her cream colored skin. He snapped out of it with a shake of his head.

"Hello James." She said, crossing to him and giving him a hug.

He breathed in her smell. She even smelled good. _Stop it James. You're here for Lily._

"Well? Are we ready to eat?" Lily asked, nudging everyone towards the table that was the dining room.

"Yes, I'm starving!" Tracy lied.

"Well, let's eat then!" Toby said, a bit too loudly.

Everyone sat down at the table. Lily had done a beautiful job mood wise. She had a red tablecloth on the table, and candles in the center. The whole room was lit up by the light of the fire, and the light from the slightly open door to Tracy's room. It was certainly romantic.

So there they sat, Lily next to James, across from James, sat Tracy, and Toby sat next to her.

There was a bit of an awkward silence.

"So, James, what have you been up to lately? I mean, aside from stalking Lily at the club?" Tracy said with a laugh.

Lily glared daggers at her friend, but said nothing.

"Errm, well I've been umm, dabbling in a few things, that have to do with, well you know. And yeah so basically I've been busy doing that and a few other, um, rather important things that have to do with um, yeah…Not that much."

"Oh…interesting. Where do you work again?"

"Oh, you know…Here and there…"

"James. Are you unemployed?" Lily asked skeptically.

"No. If you want to know I'm training to be an auror. They raised the standards, you have to go through a whole other school to become one. It's not just graduate then go…It's a four year program"

"How long have you been in the program?" Tracy asked.

James coughed and sipped a bit of wine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch the question what?"

"How long-"

"I'm sorry, I really have to go to the restroom…ummm…where?"

"Oh, just there." Lily said, motioning towards the bathroom.

"Thank you."

He stood.

"He's definitely either unemployed or has been more than four years in the program…" Toby said, genially. He glanced at Tracy, who smiled back at him. He returned the smile.

"Uh, Tracy." Lily cut in.

"Hmm?" She said, snapping out of her locked gaze with Toby.

"What do I do now?"

"Kiss him." Toby said, with a lopsided grin.

Tracy smiled again at him.

"I can't just kiss him, just like that! He's obviously not entirely here…if you get my drift…"

"Yeah…but that doesn't mean you can't just kiss him."

"Small talk first, then kiss him."

"Yes. Wait till we're not around preferably, that'd make him uncomfortable."

"Yeah. Oh I just had this perfect idea! What if you-"

James walked out of the bathroom, cutting off Toby's brilliant idea.

Lily looked flustered.

"So, how long have you been studying there now?" Tracy began again, jokingly trying to give him a hard time.

"Is the food not ready yet?" James asked, once again trying to change the subject.

Tracy gave him a break and got up to go check the food.

_She's so beautiful…Why didn't you see her before James? She was right there, you had her. She was yours, and you threw it all away…_ he looked at Lily, who was currently into a conversation with Toby. _You're why I threw it all away Lily. You were beautiful, smart, caring…All the things I wanted. All the things I still want. I'm so confused…_he looked back at Tracy who was examining the main dish. Her hair was tucked angrily behind her ears, as if she got frustrated with it falling into her face. She looked so cute. He laughed out loud.

"What?" Lily said, looking at him quizzically.

"Nothing…I just umm, thought of something funny."

Lily went back to chatting with Toby. James watched her. She was animatedly gesturing with her hands, obviously telling some sort of elaborate story. He smiled to himself. _Lily Evans…How I loved you. I guess I still love you. What I feel for Tracy isn't love…I don't think. It's a certain level of love. I care for her, I want to be with her…but I don't love her like I love you. You were the only one I've ever wanted…And you still are…I think._ He glanced up at Tracy again, and for a moment, they locked eyes.

_Why would you have done that? Tracy you idiot…he was obviously into you…did you see how he was looking at you? But you really aren't into him anymore are you? I mean, did you see the chemistry that actually happened between you and Toby?_ She looked up lovingly at Toby's back. He was laughing and watching Lily tell some sort of silly story. _I don't know how I feel about this whole ordeal…_ she covered the pot of mashed potatoes again, and joined the table.

"Lily, can I, talk to you? Alone?"

"Um, sure…" she looked nervously at Tracy.

"I'll knock when the food is ready."

Lily nodded and tentatively led James to her bedroom.

"What is it?" she said, closing the door.

"It's nothing it's just…" he looked down at the floor, and when he looked up, Lily was standing in front of him, looking very concerned.

"I might kiss you." She said, and with that, she did.

James was surprised at first. Then he slowly started to melt into the kiss. He missed her. Her lips were so soft and plump. Memories came floating back, him and Lily kissing in the library behind the largest shelf, in the broom closet by the common room, in the astronomy tower, in the room of requirement, in his bed. He tore himself away from her.

"Not…not right now…She's out there, and-"

Lily looked confused, then embarrassed.

"Oh, I see…"

"No. It's not like that. I'm just, slightly uncomfortable, I feel like we're sneaking around again."

"So why did you want to talk to me in private…?"

"I did want you. I, but when you started to kiss me, all these memories came back of you and me, and Tracy finding us…I, I can't kiss you when she's around. I keep thinking she's going to find out and be mad."

"Since when do you care what Tracy feels?" Lily countered, slightly angrily.

"I don't!" James lied. "It just makes me uncomfortable…"

Lily sat down on her bed.

"Well then I don't know what to say James…"

"Ask me to spend the night. I promise I'll tell you everything."

Lily looked up at him critically.

"I won't sleep with you."

"That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking for a slumber party."

Lily laughed out loud.

"I'll sleep on the couch. Just let me stay. I need to talk to you when she's asleep…"

Lily shook her head.

A knock at the door, "Dinner is ready." Came Tracy's voice.

James sighed and reached for the doorknob.

"Stay the night?" Lily asked suddenly.

James smiled a small smile, and nodded.

* * *

James and Lily went to her bedroom, leaving Tracy and Toby sitting at the table alone. 

"So…do you really like me?" Toby asked quietly.

"I…Honestly I don't know."

"I didn't think I liked you until you needed me that one day. But I just dismissed it as a fluke. I couldn't like you…you're like my sister…"

"I felt the same way."

"And then Lily asked me to dinner, I thought she was asking me out for herself, not for you…but when she told me it was for you because you liked me, I was sad for a moment, but then I was almost happier. That would mean that my feelings for you were reciprocated."

Tracy nodded, and began to stare intently at her salad fork.

"I just, I guess what I'm saying is that I wish you did like me…"

"Toby, I-"

"No I know, you probably only said it so Lily would stop thinking you still liked James, or whatever his name is…You deserve better than that…than him."

"Toby."

"If that's the reason, just tell me now so I don't have to get deeper into this feeling."

"I really do like you. But you're like…my brother. It'd be – wrong, in a way."

She looked at him and his eyes met hers.

"Give me a try?"

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. He moved away, "Don't do it, unless you really mean it."

She smiled a small smile, and slowly leaned in again to kiss him. He closed his eyes, and felt a small kiss on his cheek.

He dropped his head sadly, "So that's that then…"

Tracy nodded, "Dinner is probably ready…"

"Yeah…" He was resisting the urge to touch where her lips just were.

Tracy stood and knocked on Lily's door, "Dinner is ready."

* * *

A/N: OH MY GOD This was a long chapter…I want to keep going with it, but it'd just be way too long. As it is it's 13 pages. . ! Reviews are much loved!!! 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: THANKS TO ALL OF MY LOVELY REVIEWERS!!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS!!!! .

A/N2: Sorry it's been forever since my last post. Been going through some tough times… Hopefully this chapter will be good! .

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

"He's WHAT?" Tracy hissed.

"He's sleeping over. Calm down! What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal? Where is he sleeping? With you?"

"No! I'm not ready for that yet!"

Tracy snorted skeptically.

"Listen, you. He needs to tell me something that he won't say when you're awake. I don't know what it is, and I don't quite understand, but that's what he said."

"Lily. Please be careful. I just get this feeling that this will all end badly."

"I know how to protect myself. Remember? Mandatory self-defense training at the club?"

"Yeah…but just…don't do anything you'll regret ok?"

"Alright. I promise."

"Good. We should probably get back out there."

The two girls walked as casually as possible out of Tracy's room. The boys looked up from their meal at their reappearance.

"Had a good chat?" Toby asked with a slightly forced smile.

"Wonderful." Tracy said with an equally forced smile.

Awkward silence.

"Hey, Lily, didn't you buy some pumpkin pie?" Tracy asked, breaking the silence.

"What? No."

"I know a pie place that's open till 1:00. I don't know why they're open that late, but they are. Want to go get a pie?"

"Errrmm…" Lily looked imploringly at Tracy.

"Sure." Tracy responded for her.

Lily didn't move, "I think I'd better clean the kitchen since you did all the cooking Tracy. You go."

Tracy looked at her seriously.

"Please" Lily mouthed to her.

"Alright. Let me just get my coat."

"Want me to-"

"Toby help me wash up!" Lily said, not wanting to do the dishes all by herself.

Toby stood and looked back and forth from Lily and the dishes to Tracy and James by the door. He sighed, "Alright. I'll wash you rinse?"

Lily nodded.

* * *

"So how've you been?" James said politely to a very tense Tracy.

"Very well, thank you."

"That's good."

"And you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Dandy really. I mean, everything in my life is going exactly according to plan, there isn't a reason why I shouldn't be absolutely perfect."

Tracy looked at his profile, focusing too intently on the road ahead, "What's wrong?" she asked with a sigh.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Just a passing feeling…" he said, trailing off with a glance at Tracy.

She was staring out of the window, looking at the houses passing by.

"You've been jumpy all night…" She ventured, turning her attention upwards towards the streetlights.

"Yeah…Well, no. I just- Lily told you I was sleeping over?"

"Yeah."

"My intention is not to sleep with her, if that's what you're thinking."

"No. I wasn't thinking that…" Tracy lied.

"Yes you were. I just have to tell her that, what happened at Hogwarts, what we did…was wrong. It shouldn't have happened. It's been bugging me for these past years. I also wanted to apologize to you for what I did."

"Let's not talk about this right now alright?" Tracy said, and began to play with her thumbnails.

"No, we need to. What I did to you wasn't right. What Lily did to you wasn't right. And now I feel like you don't want to be in another relationship because you feel like that man will just betray you, and that's not how it should be."

Tracy continued to pick at her fingernails.

"Tracy. I'm sorry. I know it took me this long to say it, but I really am sorry. And the odds of me meeting up with you to apologize and clear my conscious is one in a million."

"You wanted to find me to clear your conscious, and feel better about yourself…Do you know what it did to me? Like, really know what it did to me? No. I can't even believe we're having this conversation this late after this incident occurred. This should have happened years ago. It didn't. I can't help what I feel right now about this situation." She fell silent, "James I think I still like you. I never really got over you. And the pain I felt when I found out you never cared for me, that you only dated me because I looked like Lily. That hurt. And now, years later, you didn't even recognize me. You thought I was Lily for crying out loud! Is that who you thought about every time we kissed? Every time I held your hand, or you gave me a hug? Was I Lily to you?" she looked away from him.

"Tracy, I'm sorry. I really am."

"Not sorry enough. Just answer me this. Is it true? Did you really think about her every time we had an intimate moment?"

James didn't respond. Thinking back on it, he realized that it was true. Every time they kissed, every time he touched her, she became Lily.

"Yeah. Thanks." She said, as they arrived at the pie shop.

"Look, Tracy, I don't know what else to say. I said I was sorry!"

Tracy got out of the car and slammed the door shut. James followed suit and crossed to her side of the car.

"Don't 'Look, Tracy' Me! You were sleeping with her, and thinking about her every rare intimate moment that we had! It hurt! Was there ever a time when you weren't thinking about her? When you were just thinking about me?"

James took a hold of her wrist and held them against the side of the car so she couldn't push him away, and with that, he kissed her. He thought about what she was wearing, how her eyes flashed when she was angry, how her hair was starting to get back to the usual messy state, how thin her wrists felt in his hands, how soft her lips where, how her body felt pressed against his. He deepened the kiss.

Tracy was taken aback for a moment_. Why is this happening? What did I do to provoke this? I can't do this. This is so wrong. Lily likes him, and it's her chance for happiness. God I miss his kisses… I miss how strong he is, I just want to be held in his arms forever…_

James felt her lean more into him, he released her wrists and started playing with her hair. Savoring the sensation of how soft it was.

Tracy slinked her arms around his waist and pulled him closer.

He realized that he wanted her. Tracy, this instant, he had to have her. He began to kiss her neck as his hands started to travel down to get under her shirt.

Tracy grinned at the sensation of his lips on her neck, and she shivered at the trail his hands made down her back as they traveled to the front. Cold air hit her stomach as he began to put his hands up her shirt. She shoved him away.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I need you." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

"We are in a public place, Potter." She said, suddenly angry at him, and at herself for stopping him.

"So? Never done it in a public place before Trix?" he joked, using her club name.

"No I have not. And I don't plan to!" She started to walk towards the pie place.

He grabbed her hand, "Tracy. I was thinking about you that time…Only you."

Tracy rolled her eyes and pulled her hand out of his, "Yeah right." And she turned her head so he wouldn't see her blush.

* * *

"So Tracy doesn't like me…" Toby said sadly, taking one plate from the pile, dunking it in the sink, then handing it to Lily.

"How do you know?" Lily asked, dunking it back in the sink and scrubbing it with the scrubby, rinsing it off and putting it on the drying rack.

"Because I talked to her about it… Did she tell you she liked me?" He asked, absentmindedly taking another dish, dunking it in the sink and handing it to Lily.

"Yeah…But that may have been because she was trying to convince me that she doesn't like James." She said, washing the dirty soapy dish, rinsing it and putting it on the drying rack.

"Yeah. I guess that was it." Another plate went in and out of the soapy water.

"Ok, Toby, you're going to have to help me more than just dunking it in soapy water."

"I'm sorry. Here." He took the plate back from her and scrubbed it.

"It's alright. You're unhappy…That's how I wash dishes when I'm sad… It drives Tracy crazy." She added with a laugh.

"Tracy is awesome in the kitchen at work. Or she was before she got promoted." He added sadly.

"Look, give her time. You're a good guy, and you guys are best friends!"

"It's just, she's the first girl that I can actually see myself with…since…Lizzy…"

"I'm sorry Toby."

"Don't be. It wasn't you're fault. It was her time, you know?"

"Were you guys the same age?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"I don't know…Something was wrong, and the doctor's couldn't figure it out. She-kept complaining about a brain freeze, even when she shouldn't have one. They got so intense, and came so often…The doctor's didn't know what it was. They tried running tests, and tried different medicines…Nothing. She passed away…"

"I'm so sorry Toby."

"It's alright. I miss her…I guess I'm kind of glad in a way that Tracy isn't interested in me, I kind of feel dirty, like I'm cheating on Liz. My Elizabeth…"

"Don't feel like that. She would want you to be happy! I'm sure she's probably watching you right now, wishing you would get it together and give Tracy a chance to love you as much as she loved you."

Toby glanced up at the ceiling, "you think?"

"Yes. I do."

Silence.

"Come on, let's finish washing up so we can have pie when they get back."

* * *

The tension in the car was unbearable. Both awkward tension and sexual tension were so palpable you could have cut it with a dull butter knife.

"I love pumpkin pie…Don't you?" Tracy said, breaking the ice with an innocent comment.

"Yes." James said, bluntly stopping the conversation.

"So, uh, about you sleeping over…" she started, getting to the heart of what was bothering her.

"What about?" James asked, suddenly extremely tense.

"You and Lily are going to talk, and then…?"

"I'm going to go to sleep…unless something happens to change my mind…" he said, attempting to give her a subtle hint.

"Oh." Said Tracy, ending that conversation.

"We have to talk. Now." He pulled over to the side of the road.

"Why do we have to stop and talk?"

"Because I have to look at you." He said, turning off the car.

"Uumm…Alright…"

"Did that feel as good to you as it did to me?" he asked bluntly.

Tracy was taken off guard for a second, "What?"

"That kiss…"

"James. You need to make up your mind about who you want. I can't keep playing this game. If we get together, all you'll be thinking about is Lily, if you and Lily get together, all you'll be thinking about is me. I think it'd be best if you didn't see either one of us."

"Tracy, please don't do this."

"James! What is the problem? You're never happy with what you have! You have Lily now! Isn't that all you wanted? Lily Evans. Perfect, talented, gorgeous Lily Evans, the one that all the boys wanted. Now you want me? Why? Because I got better looking? Because I'm a better stripper than Lily? Why? I can't figure it out! I can't figure you out! Do you want to sleep with me because you think it'll justify what you did to me at Hogwarts? Because it won't. You'll feel just as slimy as when you slept with Lily. Alright? Is this conversation over now?"

"No. Because I know something that you don't know…"

"And what is that?"

"You want me just as badly as I want you right now."

"James. I can't have this conversation with you. You're stressing me out…Can we just get back to the apartment please?"

"I need an answer."

"To what? Will I sleep with you tonight? Do I like you? Should you sleep with Lily? What question James? There are too many to name."

"Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"And what will I get out of it? Feeling like a jerk because I betrayed my best friend?"

"You'll get me, thinking only about you."

"Sorry. Not interested. You and Lily may have stooped to that level long ago, but I won't stoop down to it now. Please take me home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Think about it…the ultimate revenge."

Tracy fell silent. That would feel good to finally get back at Lily. Have her feel what she felt so long ago.

"Yes. I'm sure."

James started the car up again, "Well, if you change your mind…"

"I'll be sure to alert you at the soonest possible moment. Now can we please get back to the apartment so this pie doesn't get cold?" Tracy had never been so uncomfortable in her life.

James pulled back out onto the road heading towards her apartment.

"Thank you."

"No problem." He said angrily. No one had ever turned down an offer to sleep with him before. He didn't like the feeling.

* * *

A/N: I don't know where this chapter came from…I felt like there needed to be a bit more sexual tension. But I promise that is as far as I will go with the intimate moments…They make me awkward. LOL! Even typing that was like Eeeeekk! laffs Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are much appreciated! 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day.

A/N: I LOVE YOU GUYS THAT REVIEW!!! YOU'RE MY HEROES!!!

A/N2: SORRY GUYS!!! Terrible times in my life caused me to temporarily forgo this ficcy…and when I finally did post…it was awful…so I rewrote chapter TEN! Mainly for myself…I'd like to forget that period in my life. I hope you like it! If you liked the old chapter more, message me and I'll post it up again. LOVE!!

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

Tracy couldn't believe that just happened. How dare he. How DARE he! She opened the door to the apartment as quick as possible, and slammed the door shut after her. Tossing the pie on the counter she made her way as quickly as she could to her bedroom.

"Trace what's wrong? Where's James?" Lily asked from the kitchen.

"He's coming." She replied, trying to mask her anger better than the slammed door or the mashed pie did. And with that she slammed the door to her room shut.

Lily and Toby exchanged a glance. There was a knock at the door. Lily jerked her head towards Tracy's door, and wiped her hands off on the dishtowel. Toby rinsed off his hands, wiped them on his pants, and went to Tracy's room.

"Go Away."

"Tracy. It's me…" and he let himself in.

Tracy was on the bed with her knees pulled into her chest, crying.

"God Tracy. What happened?" Toby asked, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Nothing…It's nothing…" she said, burying her face into her knees.

"It's gotta be something. Here." He grabbed the Kleenex off of her bureau and set it down next to her.

She sniffled and took a tissue, "Thanks." She said, blowing her nose.

"No problem…" he said with a small smile.

Tracy smiled back as best she could.

"Come here." And he opened his arms for a hug.

Tracy fell into them and began to cry again, "Why is he like that? I mean…How can he…why…?"

"Shh.." he said, patting her soothingly on the back, "It'll be ok…"

* * *

"What happened?" Lily asked James as she let him back in.

"Uh…nothing."

"Well it can't just be nothing! She's pissed! What happened?"

"How am I supposed to know?" James asked with a shrug.

"Well you were the one with her!"

"I was, wasn't I." he was silent for a moment, pretending to think, "Nope. No clue."

"Whatever. You stay here then. I have to talk to her."

"Alright…I'll be here…cutting the pie."

Lily took one more look at him, and went into Tracy's room.

"What happened?" she asked once the door was shut.

"Nothing. Go Away!" Tracy said pulling away from Toby and looking for somewhere else to go.

"Tracy there's nowhere to go." Lily said pointedly.

Tracy glared bloody daggers at her, and stormed into the closet.

"What did I do?" Lily whispered to Toby. Toby shrugged, "I think it was him…" he whispered back.

"Was it James?" Lily asked the closet door.

"Go Away!"

"Tracy…Please talk to us." Toby begged.

There was silence from the other side of the closet door, then, "Yes."

"What did he do?" Lily asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

The closet door opened, "Did you know that you're….you're…THING, is a disgusting, self centered… …. ….there's not even a WORD for it!"

"Just tell me what he did." Toby said, angrily inching towards the doorknob.

Tracy's anger faltered and she sat down again on her bed, "He…kissed me…and then he…tried….he tried to get up my shirt…."

Lily stared quietly at her friend, "are you sure? I mean… James wouldn't-"

"What did his hands get LOST on the way to the pie shop? YES I'm SURE! God!"

Toby shot Lily a glare that could melt glass.

"He…he asked me to…" she stopped again to blow her nose.

"To what Trace?"

"To…sleep with him…tonight…if….if I wanted to."

Lily looked at Tracy completely shocked. She had to be lying. This wasn't James. James loved her. Lily. He would never want to sleep with Tracy!

"No. No! I mean…" Tracy looked at her accusingly

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go out there. Sweep him off of his feet. I'm sure he'll want a woman tonight that actually wants him. That doesn't hate his guts currently. You know what? Here." Tracy scrambled angrily off of her bed and crossed to the door. She wiped her tears off her face and stuck her head out of her room, "James? Lily would much appreciate it if you spent the night tonight…You guys should catch up. For old times sake." And she shut the door again.

"Ouch Tracy."

"Yeah, well you deserved it. You had it coming didn't you? GO! Sleep with him! Make my night! Only don't come crawling back to me when you find out that he has no heart and no soul! Don't expect me to feel sympathy and pity for you. Now get out of my room."

"Tracy-"

"Get Out Of My Room." She said, opening the door.

Lily looked from Tracy to Toby and then back to Tracy.

"Tracy, please-"

"Get Out." Tracy said coldly.

* * *

"What did you DO?" Lily hissed furiously at James.

"Nothing! Pie?" he asked, offering her a plate.

"REALLY? Are you KIDDING ME?"

"No. I really want to know if you want pie."

"You really are something. I'm asking you a serious question and you're asking if I want pie?"

"Well, it's delicious pie." James said, waving it in front of her face.

"Ok. Yeah. Sure. I'll take some pie." She spat out angrily. He handed her the plate.

She picked up a piece and flung it at him, "That's for being a jerk!" She flung another piece at him, "That's for hurting Tracy."

"Woah!" James exclaimed, attempting to dodge the flying pie pieces.

She put down the plate, "and this is for walking out of our lives and never coming back." And she kissed him. A deep passionate kiss, and more memories came flooding back to his mind. The tree by the lake, a deserted classroom, her bed.

'_This is wrong...This is SO wrong… Why am I doing this?'_

'_My God, I've missed this…Her lips…'_

'_I shouldn't be doing this…but…'_

'_This is Hogwarts all over again…'_

'_Is this really so wrong? Yes! Of course it is! Think of Tracy!'_

'_I want her so bad…'_

'_Forget Tracy…she said I could have him tonight.'_

They snapped out of it to realize that they were both definitely topless.

Lily shrieked and ran into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Lily!" James called through the door.

"I can't believe that just happened."

"Can't we just let it happen again? Tonight?"

"No! James!" she emerged from her room with a large T-Shirt on where her shirt should have been, "Look. You have to go."

"Why? We were…getting along!"

"Please, leave…" Lily repeated. Crossing to the door.

"Lily…please just let me stay the night."

Lily stared at him for a minute, "Fine." She stooped down to pick up his shirt, and tossed it at him, "But if anything happens. One thing. You're out."

"Kind of like a dog?" James joked.

"Exactly like a dog." Lily said, her green eyes piercing him. She crossed back to her room and shut the door.

"Goodnight Lily!" James called.

No response.

Yup…It was gonna be a long night.

* * *

A/N: I liked this SO much better than the last chapter… I hope you guys did too! Message me if you want the other one back up! Though it might appear as part of the next chapter! Reviews welcome and loved!!! 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Although it would be amazing if I owned Harry Potter and all things associated with it, I do not. Sad Day. 

A/N: I LOVE YOU GUYS THAT REVIEW!!! YOU'RE MY HEROES!!!

A/N2: YAY!!! Another Post… Let's hope I still got it in me!!! . I'm back at school where the drama is a bit crazy, so there is a lot of material for me to work off of!!! Reviews are loved!!! .

* * *

Hot Stuff

* * *

James lay on his back on the couch. The fire was slowly dying, and the flames where making weird light patterns on the ceiling. There were 17 cracks. Most were minor ones, but there was one that should be checked soon…it was getting to be pretty large.

He glanced towards his feet and to the left. Tracy's bedroom door was shut and a beam of light was radiating from under it. He flipped over onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows. Looking over the arm of the couch he observed the door that was Lily's room. The light was off. He flipped back over onto his back and began to think.

_James Potter. What is wrong with you? What do you want from them? Why are you doing this to them? Are you really THAT much of a jerk? No. Of course not. You just don't know what you want…Err…Who you want. Ok. Let's think this over._

_You've wanted Lily since Hogwarts…You got Lily at Hogwarts, and screwed everything up with Tracy to be with her. Then Lily couldn't be with you because Tracy meant more to her than you…but you loved her. Or thought you loved her. And when she left that day on the train…_

He felt suddenly and quite painfully that his heart was ripping apart.

_She must have loved you… She wouldn't have given herself to you unless she did. She wouldn't have done what she did with you unless she really and truly loved you… Would she?_

_Look at you James…you're pathetic. You date Tracy because she looks like Lily…you cheat on her with Lily behind her back…you get left by Lily when school ends….you wallow in self pity and general pathetic-ness for God knows how long…you find Tracy and think she's Lily…You find Lily and find you're still attracted to her…You re-meet Tracy and start to think she's attractive…You try to… with Tracy…What WAS that James??? And then you…with Lily… Oh God. You are a jerk…_

He flipped over onto his side to stare absently into the fire.

_How could you do this to them? You're not a bad person…are you? Of course you're not. You're James Potter…you're never…well, hardly ever terrible to women. So then why are you having these thoughts? Ok. Think. You have to decide who you want, because you can't have both of them. You're screwing with their minds, and now neither of them wants you back. You could have had Tracy back at school and you wanted Lily. You could have had Lily right now, and you wanted Tracy… and now Tracy is in that room with that boy…whatever his name is…and you're…jealous?? That can't be right._

_You need to see a therapist._

_That's not the point. The point is that…what is the point?_

He sat bolt upright, suddenly realizing what needed to be done.

* * *

Tracy was walking around her room, finishing up her last minute bed preparations. She had set up an air mattress on the floor for Toby, because they both decided that he needed to stay over in order for Tracy to feel like it was ok to sleep. Toby was already curled up under the covers on the left side of the bed, his side of the bed. It was habit, and even though she was gone, Tracy knew he still thought about her, and missed her deeply.

She smiled to herself and stepped into her closet to change.

_What am I thinking? There he was Tracy…He was yours. He wanted you. For God Sakes, he was with you, and only thinking about YOU! You've never had that before with him…and you passed it up why? So you wouldn't betray your best friend like she betrayed you… Why are you such a good person._

_He's so…handsome and charming, and… SO hot… And the way his hands were… No. Stop it. He's a lying, cheating…what's the word…? Man whore! Who doesn't care about anyone aside from himself!_

_Get it together Trace…You don't feel that way about him anymore… I know you miss his strong arms…and his kiss… Oh God his kiss… Stop It!!!_

She stepped out of her closet and turned on her bedside light. Then she crossed to the door, being careful not to step on the air mattress, and flicked the light off. She glanced down at Toby.

_Look at him… Why couldn't you like him? I mean, you don't do you? Or do you? Now you're just confusing yourself I think…_

She sighed. All she wanted to do was be in his arms.

_James though, right? Not Toby… I think maybe I just want a guy to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright…But a guy that won't try to get in my pants…and a guy that is more than just a friend… I want… I don't know what I want._

She picked up Mr. Snuffles, and set him at the foot of her bed. He turned around three times, curled up into a ball and promptly fell asleep. She clambered into bed, turned off the bedside light, and stared at the dappled moonlight that was filtering through her window onto the wall.

_You just think that you know everything… You're convinced that you're way is the right way…when often times, it's not. Just forget about James… it's the best thing to do. Let Lily have him. You can get over him, so long as he never touches you again…_

She glanced down towards the foot of her bed and the door, and was suddenly overcome with emotion. She scrambled out of bed.

* * *

Lily was asleep. Asleep but dreaming. She was back at Hogwarts, and James was there.

_'We shouldn't be doing this…'_

_'Why not? Tracy doesn't know, and she never needs to find out.'_

_'I'm not sure if I'm entirely comfortable with this situation…I mean…I'm worried about her.'_

_'Forget what you feel about her, what do you feel about us?'_

_'Us is amazing…but what if she finds out?'_

_'I'm saying she never NEEDS to find out. We can keep this from her as long as we need to.'_

_'We're going to hurt her. We should just tell her.'_

_'Are you crazy? If we tell her, she'll never speak to either of us again, and I don't think either of us wants that…'_

_'No…but this is so wrong!'_

_'But doesn't it FEEL so right?'_

_'Yes, but…'_

_'Stop thinking about her… Think about me.'_

_'I do think about you, all the time.'_

_'So do it now…think about me'_

_'I am.'_

_'Kiss me.'_

_'Gladly'_

_Things began to escalate,_ and Lily rolled over, not sure how her conscious mind felt about how her subconscious mind taking over that dream.

_'Now you can't really say you want to tell her, because then this…will never happen ever again.'_

_'But it's so wrong!'_

_'What do you want more? Because I can promise you, if you tell her, I'm not sure if this can happen anymore…It won't feel as right, and the passion will be gone because it's not "forbidden"'_

_'How can you say that? That's sick! There will still be passion! And we won't have to sneak around her back!'_

_'I'm telling you, the passion will be gone. I don't want to have our relationship out in the open. I like being…bad…'_

_'You're terrible.'_

_'Stop it. This is nice isn't it? You lying here with me…Me lying here with you…?'_

_'It is nice…'_

_'So then it's settled…We don't tell Tracy. I like the danger of doing this with you behind her back.'_

_'You're sick Lily.'_

And she woke up, completely ashamed of that dream, and wondering if that was how she really felt about the whole situation, and how she was going to handle the happenings of the evening.

* * *

James stood, folded up the blanket, placed it on the couch, turned off the fire, and grabbed his stuff to leave. He was not going to be there in case one of them woke up and wanted to ask something of him that he wasn't in the right mind to agree to. He had hurt both of them too much at the present moment in time, and he knew they didn't deserve that. They were both too good for him, and he had to get out of there before his sex drive changed his morals around. He glanced at Lily's door, and then at Tracy's door, and suddenly he couldn't bring himself to leave.

* * *

Tracy knelt on the floor and gently shook Toby awake. She crawled onto the air mattress, and snuggled under the covers next to him. He smiled and put his arm around her and held her close. She turned her head to try to look at him, but couldn't quite see him, so she flipped onto her back. He smiled at her and looked into her eyes. She smiled back. He reached up and brushed a stray hair out of her face, then, slowly, trailed his hand down her cheek. She savored the sensation of his hand against her cheek, and closed her eyes with a small smile. Suddenly she felt his lips on hers. This was the moment where she had to decide how she really felt about him.

* * *

Lily scrambled off of the bed and flicked on the light in her closet. She took the small handheld mirror off of her bureau and ran into her closet. Quickly she changed into a more flattering set of pajamas, and brushed on some foundation and blush. She combed out her hair with her fingers and threw on her nicest robe. This was it.

* * *

Tracy kissed Toby back, loving the way he was pressed against her, very aware that he was shirtless. They moved to her bed for the rest of the night.

* * *

James took one more glance towards both girls' rooms, and forced himself to walk to the door and leave, shutting it quietly behind him.

* * *

Lily walked in smiling on an empty, dark room.

* * *

A/N: For once James's conscience got the better of him!!! YAY! He's growing up!!! Reviews welcome and loved!!!


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